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“Little Things Mean A Lot”

5 min read

A line a day when you’re far away, Little things mean a lot   Little Things Mean A Lot

OK! *CLAP!* Everybody have their final walk through with the caterer for the menu for tonight’s “Mueller Report Watch Party?” Waiting in suspense for Lo-Barr to release the gobbledygook that will have to pass for the Mueller report is like sitting down with your friends to watch the 2001 Super Bowl on the NFL Network. It promises to be entertaining, but just barely. Besides, I stopped looking at coloring books when my youngest daughter went into first grade.

But there will still be excitement and drama in the release of the Mueller report, even though you find yourself thinking you’re looking at one of those “Magic Eye 3-D picture b”books, staring at the colored bars, waiting for the picture of the motorcycle to pop up. The secret to success in de-ciphering the Mueller report isn’t in trying to guess what’s behind the bars, it’s in knowing what to look for in what you can actually see.

Forget about even thinking about a “smoking gun” nuclear explosion, it ain’t there. If we take Barr at his word, Mueller found no solid evidence of criminal collusion or conspiracy between the Trump campaign and Russia, and not enough legally admissible evidence of obstruction of justice to convict in a court of law. And if, as expected, Barr is lying his furry little Ewok ass off, that shit is safely ticked away behind festive, Christmas card colored little bars.But think about that for a moment. Those were the two main pillars of the Mueller Temple of Doom. If that’s what the report will show tomorrow, why are White House aides and advisers wringing their hands that Trump took his victory lap too early, and too loudly, and why are current and former west wing staffers lining up to get into the witness protection program before it’s released?

Because, as the title says, “little things mean a lot.” Even a craven legal prostitute like Barr knows that he can’t paint Trump as a Mona Lisa with this report. It doesn’t take 400 pages to reach the conclusion of “Dude didn’t do shit.” He’s going to have to let Trump have some warts, especially in the obstruction of justice category. After all, most of that evidence is already public, there are no sensitive national security interests in obstructing justice, and the report can’t “OK, here’s the 411 by Robert S Mueller III,” followed by 400 pages of semaphore code. And as with your cell phone service contract, the devil will be in the details.

Iconic lawyer and prosecutor Vincent T Bulgiosi, the man who put Manson away, described the conflicting notion of guilt that lawyers used to explain to a jury in closing arguments thus; A defense lawyer compares the prosecutions case as a long chain. Each fact and statement is a link in that chain. If any single link breaks, the chain is broken,and the defendant must be acquitted. A prosecutor will instead tell the jury that the case is like a rope. Every fact, piece of evidence, and testimony is a strand of that rope. With each new strand the rope becomes stronger. And even if one strand breaks, the mass of the rope is still more than strong enough to tie the defendant to justice.

That’s what to look for tomorrow in the Barr “Readers Digest” version of the Mueller report. Look for little things that just seem off, and look for them to be repeated over and over again, from multiple sources. Ask yourself, “Would I do it that way?” Pretend you’re on a jury, and just use your common sense and life experience. And don’t concentrate too much credit on the words of the “main players” in this thing. They’ve been well coached, and have a personal stake to lose. Look for the drones and secondary employees, people like “Molly Q,” or “Staffer 3,” and what  they have to say. They’re going to be less well coached, scared shitless, and less likely to take the fall for Trump. If one of them says something negative, or questionable, be ready to believe it. And if more than one of them describe the same event or action the same way, be ready to take it to the bank. Because a case really is a rope, and those are the strands. Whether it’s pebbles of straws, your belief can only take so much weight, so look to see if and when your back breaks.

Personally, I think that Barr’s attempt to whitewash this entire thing is going to come back around to knock Trump on his plush, well cushioned ass, because Barr is going to be too damn cute by half. What Barr can’t afford is to let Mueller tie all of the pieces together in a compelling case against Trump, so he’s going to redact the glue that holds the pieces together. But think of human nature for a moment. What do human beings automatically do when confronted with conflicting information, with either a positive or negative outcome possible? They draw the worst possible conclusion, every damn time. If you feel a lump in your armpit, your mind automatically flashes to lymph node cancer, and you’re a nervous wreck. It’s only 2 days later, when it gets red and hot, that you realize it’s just another boil, and breathe a sigh of relief. By leaving those negative pieces just floating around out there aimlessly, Barr invites people to put that puzzle together any way they choose. And if there’s one homo sapien on the planet that people are instinctively ready to assume the worst about, it’s Donald John Trump, Pestquire.

So, there you have it, The Hitchhikers Guide To The Mueller Report. These handy tips may not make the report comprehensible, but hopefully they’ll at least help you to have some fun while you’re stumbling around in the dark. But then again, wadda I know? I told the caterer to put chopped Jalapenos in the guacamole for the party tonight.

Copies of President Evil, and the sequel, President Evil II, A Clodwork Orange are still sitting around collecting dust, and Amazon is starting to send me nasty e-mails. And what better time to get reacquainted with the roller coaster that was the 2016 election cycle than before the release of the final volume of the trilogy, President Evil III, All the Presidents Fen.

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