Lindsey Graham issues ludicrous alert about Brazilian 'terrorists' with 'Gucci bags' flooding border

What? Forty thousand Brazilian fashionistas are keen to move to Connecticut, and Republicans want to stop them? Why? That’s the best news I’ve heard in months! Where, exactly, are they crossing? I’d like to meet them. Maybe they can help me get into some of the A-list clubs I’d normally have no chance of setting foot in because I smell like Kirkland jeans and Prell and have a head the size of an Igloo cooler.

Then again, I have a hard time believing this story. Not just because it’s ridiculous, but because it comes out of the mouth of a Republican. And not just any Republican: it’s Lindsey “Count Me Out, but Let Me Check Trump’s Poll Numbers First” Graham.