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Leave Vladimir Putin Alooooooooooooone!!!!

We have reached the point of absurdity. Joe Scarborough, who is no friend of mine, tweets out that Epstein’s suicide murder might have a Russian connection, because like you know this is the type of thing Putin does over and over again for — well he would do it for five dollars and a subway token so  I think he might for his puppet American president and rich American MAGA money launders, and and people in the press get crazy.  Greenwald, who I don’t know anymore, Eichenwald, who I sometimes agreed with but never really understood, and some guy whose name I can’t (or don’t want to) spell.  They are like all about, “how dare you, leave Vladimir Putin aloooooone!!! Scarborough actually has to defend himself.  Maybe they’re right. Maybe these are conspiracy theories.

So I guess this is what actually happened,

So first Epstein’s was able to convince his therapist that he should not have a roommate because like, you know he is so charming. This happens All The Time? Known sociopaths are always convincing their therapists of stuff. You see Epstein fooled rich people so a therapist would just throw the DSM VI right out the door and say Geoffrey you friggin deserve to be alone. Trouble, the therapist is on a trip to Bermuda right now. And his dog ate his notes. But like this is what happened. Truly.

And then the warden at the prison heard what the therapist said and he said, “you know what, those protocols are so silly. Why Geoffrey was able to convince the therapist he was A okay, so let’s take his roommate out because it might upset him (or the hedge fund manager who embezzled his clients fund’s nickname is killer). And by the way I think we should take him off suicide watch. We do that all the time. We take people off suicide watch because they want to come off.

And then let’s make sure all our guards are on overtime and they are not going around bothering Geoffrey all the time. He doesn’t like that. And he is so charming, we just have to do all this for him. I mean he was able to convince Les Wexner to give him money for young girls, and Wexner is rich man, so he can convince anybody of anything.

And bad luck, just that night when we the guards were on overtime — stupid guards — out closed circuit system went out. It was the most amazing coincidence. What a bummer man. And the fact that the press can now just move on — what a bad break.

That’s the whole and honest truth. I swear it.

And now you are saying that Putin might have done it. That this is more likely than the incredibly likely scenario I described above.  I will say it again, Leave Vladimir Putin…legitimately one of the worst if not the worst human being in the world, who has done things like this all the time…..

Alooooooooooone!! If you don’t you are  a conspiracy theorist. Come on man, we’re better than that.

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