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Lawyer for MAGA-man who cracked boy's skull during anthem says he was acting on Trump's orders

2 min read

Our pr*sident is a menace. Full stop.

Yesterday it was reported that a man slammed a 13-year-old boy to the ground so forcefully at a fairgrounds in Montana that he cracked the kid’s skull. The boy’s offense? He refused to take his hat off during the national anthem.

Now we’re getting some insight into the real culprit: Chaos Agent Donald J. Trump.

According to the man’s lawyer, the perpetrator, Curt Brockway, suffers from serious brain damage and interpreted Trump’s hyper-jingoistic rhetoric as a license to be a violent asshole.

Talking Points Memo:

“His commander in chief is telling people that if they kneel, they should be fired, or if they burn a flag, they should be punished,” [attorney Lance] Jasper said. “He certainly didn’t understand it was a crime.”

Brockway allegedly told the teen to remove the hat while the anthem played, to which the boy responded: “fuck you,” sparking Brockway’s attack.

Brockway was allegedly severely injured in a car accident and has impaired judgment as a result.

“Trump never necessarily says go hurt somebody, but the message is absolutely clear,” Jasper said. “I am certain of the fact that [Brockway] was doing what he believed he was told to do, essentially, by the president.”

Of course, this incident follows closely on the heels of a mass shooting by a killer whose manifesto clearly echoed Trump’s incendiary rhetoric.

Not sure if “the frothing yellow man in the red hat told me to” is a good enough excuse to get Brockway off the hook. I mean, it didn’t work for the Manson family. And who among Trump’s followers doesn’t have a soupçon or more of brain damage?

But it’s becoming more and more clear who Patient Zero in this epidemic of racially motivated violence is. And next year we’ll have a chance to quarantine him once and for all.

Let’s not screw it up.

Is Trump still singeing your sphincter? Dear F*cking Lunatic: 101 Obscenely Rude Letters to Donald Trump and its breathlessly awaited sequel Dear F*cking Moron: 101 More Letters to Donald Trump by Aldous J. Pennyfarthing are the salve you need! Reviewers have called these books “hysterically funny,” “cathartic,” and “laugh-out-loud” comic relief. And you can get them for less than the price of a cup of coffee … or a black-market Xanax … or five minutes of therapy. It’s time to heal, my friends. Buy now!

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