Lauren 'Boebart' gleefully accepts crass, sexist award, complete with a Red Lobster gift card

Everything about this image is perfect—in a way. If Trump ever achieves his longstanding goal of turning America into a giant kleptocratic Chuck E. Cheese, this will be the new flag of Colorado—in honor of the state’s governor-for-life, Lauren J. Le Petomane-Boebert.

It’s a perfect snapshot of America in the Year of Our Lord 2022. A crass deference to shallow values and superficial virtues? Check. A hearty, smiling embrace of bellicose dimwittedness? Check. A deeply ironic celebration of biblically proscribed foods? Check. And the mealy maraschino cherry atop the Old Country Buffet sundae? Misspellings! What would any fake conservative award be without glaring errors?!

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