Okay, this is some bullshit. And the bullshitter’s older brother, Curtis, agrees.



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INGRAHAM: “But for millions of us, for millions of you, he’s been a champion for the middle class. He’s been a champion for working families like the family I came from in New England. And those people hadn’t seen much of a real wage increase since about the year 2000, and then Trump came along. See, for about 30 years conservatives were promised so much by so many politicians, and too many of them just failed to deliver. But on issue after issue, he has delivered, whether we’re talking about fighting for steel workers in Pennsylvania or taking on China in trade negotiations or enforcing the border, bringing our troops home, fighting for peace in the Middle East — been nominated for three Nobel Prizes — and standing up for life. He’s already achieved an enormous amount for us, and he says he’s just getting started.”

Thanks, Typhoid Mary’s publicist! That’s all I can transcribe for now. I fear my fingers may clench up like a cursed monkey’s paw if I go any further.

She did continue, though. It was a lot of “blah, blah, blah, thanks Dear Leader, blah, blah.”

Curt Ingraham already pointed out that the one substantial thing Trump did during his three and a half years of Diet Coke bacchanals and orca baths was deliver a giant, budget-busting tax cut for his wealthy cronies. And the rest of Ingraham’s pabulum — like insisting Trump fought for steel workers (meh) — doesn’t change the fact that Trump criminally mishandled a pandemic and pissed away the longest economic expansion in American history. 

But who cares about real accomplishments when you can just make shit up?

Hey, it’s the Trumpian way!

“This guy is a natural. Sometimes I laugh so hard I cry.” — Bette Midler on Aldous J. Pennyfarthing, via Twitter. Find out what made dear Bette break up. Dear Fcking Lunatic: 101 Obscenely Rude Letters to Donald Trump and its boffo sequels Dear Prsident A**clown: 101 More Rude Letters to Donald Trump and Dear F*cking Moron: 101 More Letters to Donald Trump by Aldous J. Pennyfarthing are now available for a song! Click those links, yo!

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