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Lando Cotton blames the AP for being human shields, The Onion agrees to end cycle of violence

2 min read

It’s clear that Israel had no legitimate reason to target the media in Gaza other than to make their (Israel’s) war crimes harder to report. Like previous guy, Tom Cotton attacks the free press from the floor of the US Senate because they’re not propaganda outlets.

We know that this unprecedented call for action represents a significant sacrifice to both our financial bottom line and our ongoing reporting on the Middle Eastern conflict, but if carpet bombing the entire city block in which our offices are located will finally put an end to this cycle of violence, it will have been well worth any inconvenience.

Thus, we urge Israel’s government in the strongest possible terms to obliterate corporate headquarters and subsidiaries, as well as all buildings containing any work-share spaces or storage lockers we may have rented. In recognition of the crucial strategic importance of this act, we urge Israel not to give any advance warning to the tenants located in these buildings, as there could be no legitimate reason for working so close to potential terrorists beyond a desire to serve as a human shield.

www.theonion.com/…

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