Karl Rove is back! And in related news … what the hell is this wart on my asshole? I should get that checked.

Anyway, George W. Bush’s Svengali, whom the second-worst president in our history affectionately referred to as “Turd Blossom,” is back to take thinly veiled racist swipes at our first Black president.

Here he was on Fox News:



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ROVE: “It is so unseemly for a former president to take the virtual commencement ceremony for a series of historically black colleges and universities and turn it into a political drive-by shooting. I mean, this is a moment where these young graduates could be inspired to a life of service, to recognize that life is going to bring challenges and how we handle the challenges is going to demonstrate our character. There are lots of positive messages that the former president could have delivered, but the news that we have out of this speech, out of this speech out of this appearance is, he says, quote, ‘the pandemic has finally, fully torn back the curtain that so many of the folks in charge … don’t know what they’re doing. Lots of them aren’t even pretending to be in charge.’ I mean, think about that. He has slandered, not just the president, who is his political target, and he made it clear a week ago that he was going to go after him. But he’s taken a slap at the vice president, who has done an extraordinarily effective job as head of the coronavirus task force.”

Political drive-by shooting, huh? Did he perform said shooting while wearing gang colors or a tan suit? We really need to know.

Also, what calumny! How dare Barack Obama say the Trump administration’s coronavirus response has been a raging plastic-surgeon-parking-lot liposuction fire? I mean, we’re not going to hit 100,000 deaths until next week sometime

And, uh, politicizing an apolitical event? Where have I heard that one before? Oh, yeah. Trump does that pretty much every day.

Let’s all hop in the Wayback Machine, shall we?

Remember Trump’s July 2017 speech to the Boy Scouts? I sure do.

The Washington Post:

Then, standing before all 40,000 of them, he bragged about the “record” crowd size, bashed President Barack Obama, criticized the “fake media” and trashed Hillary Clinton’s presidential campaign. In the lengthy 35-minute speech, the president threatened to fire his health and human services secretary if he couldn’t persuade members of Congress to vote for the Republican health-care bill.

Here was my favorite part of the speech:

And he went out and bought a big yacht, and he had a very interesting life. I won’t go any more than that, because you’re Boy Scouts so I’m not going to tell you what he did.


Should I tell you? Should I tell you?


You’re Boy Scouts, but you know life. You know life.

So look at you. Who would think this is the Boy Scouts, right? So he had a very, very interesting life, and the company that bought his company was a big conglomerate, and they didn’t know anything about building homes, and they didn’t know anything about picking up the nails and the sawdust and selling it, and the scraps of wood.

So Barack Obama rightly pointed out, during his speech to historically black colleges and universities, what happens when your nation confronts a crisis with a malignant narcissist at the helm.

Meanwhile, Trump bashed Obama and Hillary Clinton during a speech to a captive audience of children and then, for some reason, told them about the debauched fuckfests William Levitt used to have on his yacht.

Advantage: Obama

Rove can go away now. I think we’ve seen enough of the Turd Blossom Unreality Hour.

Is Trump still chafing your arse-cheeks? Then Dear Fcking Lunatic: 101 Obscenely Rude Letters to Donald Trump and its boffo sequels Dear Prsident A**clown: 101 More Rude Letters to Donald Trump and Dear F*cking Moron: 101 More Letters to Donald Trump by Aldous J. Pennyfarthing are the pick-me-up you need! Reviewers have called these books “hysterically funny,” “cathartic,” and “laugh-out-loud” comic relief. And they’re way, way cheaper than therapy.

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