John Dean to White House staffers: 'Get out!'

John Dean knows a little something about awful, criminal, paranoid presidents with berserk rage boners for the popular Democratic presidents who preceded them. As White House counsel under President Nixon, he was deeply involved in the Watergate coverup. Eventually he flipped on the president, cooperating with investigators and pleading guilty to a single felony count.

So if things seem a tad Watergate-y to you these days, imagine how Dean feels. He’s seen this movie before. Hell, he’s helped make this movie before. And now he’s saying to White House staffers, “Whatever you do, don’t be me”:


Come on, John. Worst in history? That’s … okay, yeah, you’re right. And unless we discover that James Buchanan nailed Stormy Daniels’ great-great-grandmother after she spanked him with a copy of Old Farmer’s Almanac, he’ll likely hold onto that status for a while.

But this tweet does raise an interesting question. What could be a worse job to list on your résumé than White House staffer during the Trump administration?

McDonald’s pink-slime wrangler?

Steve Bannon’s personal bathtub attendant?

Dick Cheney’s organ-donor clone? 

KKK cross-oiler?

Death Star weapons technician?

I’d have to say those are all about on par with working for the Trump White House.

In other words, it’s better to be the first rat off the sinking ship than the last. Think about that, okay?


Yo! Dear F*cking Lunatic: 101 Obscenely Rude Letters to Donald Trump by Aldous J. Pennyfarthing is now available at Amazon! Buy there (or at one of the other fine online retailers carrying it), or be square.