Oh, no, no, no, no.
The situation with Iran is precarious enough without sweetening the pot for the neocons.
Professional fraud Jacob Wohl said in a recent Instagram message that he’ll join the military within 10 days if we go to war with Iran.
1) No he won’t.
2) He’d also be fragged within 10 days.
Wohl says he’ll consider the United States at war with Iran if Congress authorizes the war or Trump uses a previous military authorization to attack. As for what branch he’ll join, Wohl says “probably the Army.”
Wohl’s hypothetical future platoon-mates might want to be aware that Wohl has a reputation for failing spectacularly. Last year, he teamed up with lobbyist Jack Burkman to smear Special Counsel Robert Mueller with a sexual assault allegation that completely collapsed when the alleged victim failed to show, then accused Wohl of making it all up. In April, The Daily Beast caught Wohl and Burkman trying to manufacture a similar allegation against Democratic presidential hopeful Pete Buttigieg.
As The Daily Beast notes, Wohl has also been caught faking death threats against himself with a phony Twitter account.
If he joins the Army, I don’t think he’ll have to fake any threats of violence. He’ll be lucky if his fellow soldiers don’t set him on fire and catapult him into Tehran.
Dude, you’re not going to war, unless you plan on joining the 1st Infantry Perpetual Cowering Division. You'd be more useful on the homefront as a bomb tester or John Bolton’s mustache comb.
But if we do go to war — and that would be a colossal mistake, mind you, but who knows what the ocher abomination might do? — let’s hope for once you're not lying.
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