Ivanka thinks it matters that her dad won Alaska. How adorable

Oh, look, Donald Trump won Alaska! Three electoral votes and 663,000 square miles of yummy red land! If only land voted. Sigh.

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Look! AP called it and everything. Scoreboard, motherfuckers!

Of course, the AP has also called the election for Joe Biden, but it would be rude to point that out to her, right?

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— Sarah Cooper (@sarahcpr) November 11, 2020

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— Brian Tyler Cohen (@briantylercohen) November 11, 2020

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— BrooklynDad_Defiant! (@mmpadellan) November 11, 2020

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Since Alaska loves Trump so much, I suggest he go live on this bus:

It’s Wi-Fi-enabled, Donny. And there’s nightly turndown service. Honestly. Why would we lie to you, our favorite soon-to-be-exiled president?

This guy is a natural. Sometimes I laugh so hard I cry.” — Bette Midler on Aldous J. Pennyfarthing, via Twitter. The first history of the Trump error is complete! Goodbye, Asshat: 101 Farewell Letters to Donald Trump is hot off the presses! Along with Dear Fcking Lunatic: 101 Obscenely Rude Letters to Donald Trump, Dear Prsident A**clown: 101 More Rude Letters to Donald Trump and Dear F*cking Moron: 101 More Letters to Donald Trump, you’ll see the Trump years from a hilarious new perspective. Click those links, yo!