Ivanka thinks it matters that her dad won Alaska. How adorable

By: Aldous Pennyfarthing

On: November 12, 2020

In: , Alaska, DonaldTrump, Election2020, IvankaTrump, JoeBiden, PRESIDENTELECTBIDEN, Recommended, Trump

Tagged: adorable, alaska, ivanka, matters, thinks

Oh, look, Donald Trump won Alaska! Three electoral votes and 663,000 square miles of yummy red land! If only land voted. Sigh.

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BREAKING: President Trump and Senate Republicans win Alaska, overwhelmingly and by a massive 20 point spread!

Put AK in the books for @realDonaldTrump! Congratulations Senator @DanSullivan_AK!

Thank you Alaska! 🇺🇸 https://t.co/pr7Gz0S7q1— Ivanka Trump (@IvankaTrump) November 11, 2020

Look! AP called it and everything. Scoreboard, motherfuckers!

Of course, the AP has also called the election for Joe Biden, but it would be rude to point that out to her, right?

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Oh you saw that @AP_Politics race call? Did you miss this one? https://t.co/dxn0GkSfeD

— Sarah Cooper (@sarahcpr) November 11, 2020

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Trump: Since when can the media call the election?!?

Ivanka: https://t.co/kHjFXw6NRL

— Brian Tyler Cohen (@briantylercohen) November 11, 2020

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Sooo…he has ticked up from 214 to 217.

There is NO hope for him.

WTF are YOU doing, Complicit Barbie?

— BrooklynDad_Defiant! (@mmpadellan) November 11, 2020

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Since Alaska loves Trump so much, I suggest he go live on this bus:

It’s Wi-Fi-enabled, Donny. And there’s nightly turndown service. Honestly. Why would we lie to you, our favorite soon-to-be-exiled president?

This guy is a natural. Sometimes I laugh so hard I cry.” — Bette Midler on Aldous J. Pennyfarthing, via Twitter. The first history of the Trump error is complete! Goodbye, Asshat: 101 Farewell Letters to Donald Trump is hot off the presses! Along with Dear Fcking Lunatic: 101 Obscenely Rude Letters to Donald Trump, Dear Prsident A**clown: 101 More Rude Letters to Donald Trump and Dear F*cking Moron: 101 More Letters to Donald Trump, you’ll see the Trump years from a hilarious new perspective. Click those links, yo!

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