Ivanka and Jared likely to be shunned from their new neighborhood's exclusive country club

Donald Trump

Now this is how you get a Trump’s attention—peel away her unearned and undeserved social status.

Vanity Fair:

Ivanka Trump and Jared Kushner have only been landowners in Miami’s exclusive “Billionaire’s Bunker” enclave since December, but it seems the couple is already having some issues with their new neighbors.

While the outgoing presidential advisers became the proud owners of one of only 29 residences located on Indian Creek Island, as Page Six reported at the time, just having a home there doesn’t automatically guarantee that über-rich residents will be admitted to the compound’s even more exclusive country club. A source explained to the outlet on Wednesday, “You have to be nominated and make a formal application. But it only takes one member to object against any new member, and many members are objecting, particularly after the events at the Capitol on January 6.” They added, “The Indian Creek Country Club members are very picky and the word is that Javanka need not apply,” going on the suggest that “Jared and Ivanka can lunch with their fellow ‘patriots’ at Mar-a-Lago.”

How do you solve a problem like pariah …?

Okay, I’ve waited and waited and waited for Trump and his crime family to face some kind of lasting comeuppance, and now that I’m getting a hot Silkwood-shower blast of schadenfreude to my wobbly noggin multiple times a day, it feels sort of, I don’t know … it just feels … well, fucking great. That’s how it feels. Honestly, I might not stop orgasming until the heat death of the universe. But that’s just me. How about you?

But they shouldn’t feel too forlorn. After all, the Republican Party won’t just stop being a gormless horde of malodorous starfuckers overnight:

But just because Jared and Ivanka’s country-club future isn’t looking bright doesn’t mean their social calendar won’t be full. A second source told the outlet that the couple has already been made to feel very welcome among the Billionaire’s Bunker set, who, Page Six notes, are largely Republican, and the two have already received a number of invitations to dinner.

Okay, fine, but are they sure they’ve being invited for legit reasons? I’d invite them to dinner, too, just so I could ask them timely, pressing questions such as … “huh?” “seriously, dude?” and “what the ever-living fuck, you heaping berm of lightly braised emu shite?”

Yeah, I probably couldn’t get into the Indian Creek Country Club either. Or Dave & Buster’s for that matter (long story). Then again, I’m more than content to stick with the 420 Club (i.e., my patio on Mondays through, erm, subsequent Mondays.)

This guy is a natural. Sometimes I laugh so hard I cry.” — Bette Midler on Aldous J. Pennyfarthing, via Twitter. Goodbye, Asshat: 101 Farewell Letters to Donald Trump is hot off the presses! Along with Dear Fcking Lunatic: 101 Obscenely Rude Letters to Donald Trump, Dear Prsident A**clown: 101 More Rude Letters to Donald Trump and Dear F*cking Moron: 101 More Letters to Donald Trump, you’ll see the Trump years from a hilarious new perspective. Click those links!

  • January 14, 2021