Needless to say, there’s a big difference between this:
“He’s not a war hero. He was a war hero because he was captured. I like people who weren’t captured.”
Of course, the chance that Trump actually wrote that tweet is approximately 1 over infinity — or about the same as the chance that Keebler elves snuck into my bedchamber last night and replaced my bone marrow with sweet, delicious nougat.
I mean, the tweet features correctly spelled words, proper syntax, mostly appropriate capitalization, and genuine human emotion. So, yeah, it was an intern.
That said, it must really rankle our Supreme Fake-Tough-Guy-in-Chief to have to recognize POWs on POW Recognition Day. After all, in doing so he’s indirectly lauding John McCain.
Don’t worry Donnie. You’ll have a day in your honor eventually. We’ll call it Ouchy Bone Spurs Day, and we’ll let all the kids out of school for fake sore throats and embarrassing haircuts. It’ll be awesome.
“Fabulous!” “Hysterically funny!” “Cathartic!” These are just a few of the many accolades from readers of Aldous J. Pennyfarthing’s Dear F*cking Lunatic: 101 Obscenely Rude Letters to Donald Trump. And now, the long-awaited sequel is here! Dear F*cking Moron: 101 More Letters to Donald Trump is hot off the digital press and available as a $2.99 download from Amazon. Buy there, or be square. (And while you’re doing that, grab yourself a copy of The Fierce, Fabulous (and Mostly Fictional) Adventures of Mike Ponce, America’s First Gay Vice President, also from AJP.