Irreligious nut Trump suggests reopening churches just for Easter

In his perpetual and largely successful quest to convince easily gulled rubes that he’s the most most Christiany Christian who ever Christianed, Donald Trump continually goes through the motions to make it look like he’s been washed in the blood of Christ and not the tangy barbecue sauce of McRibs.

Sometimes he stumbles — like when he attempted to recite the name of a Bible chapter or failed to actually do anything remotely Christian in his three-plus years as pr*sident.

So exposing as many Christians as possible to a deadly virus that's already killed more than 8,000 Americans and shows no signs of stopping? Yep. That’s right in his wheelhouse.

(Second tweet)

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TRUMP: “We’re not going to churches on Palm Sunday. But think of next Sunday — Easter. And I brought it up before, I said, ‘Maybe we could allow special for churches. Maybe we could talk about it. Maybe we could allow them with great separation outside on Easter Sunday.’ I don’t know, it’s something we should talk about. But somebody did say that, well, then you’re sort of opening it up to that little, you know, do we want to take a chance on doing that when we’ve been doing so well? But Easter Sunday.”

Chances are Trump doesn’t really think things will be opened up for Easter Sunday. He just wants to send a message to his base that he’s watching their back (though not their lungs, of course). Still, this is just another example of Trump hemming, hawing, and wavering instead of delivering what should be a strong, clear, and consistent message about social distancing and virus mitigation. Just two days ago he undermined the CDC’s recommendation on wearing masks within seconds of announcing it. Some churches may actually open their doors in response to this latest brain fart, and the deaths that result will be squarely on Trump’s cubic head.

Of course, Trump likely doesn’t care how many of his Christian cult followers die, so long as enough survive to form a powerful voting bloc in November.

But just in case you’re inclined to follow the big faux Christian’s advice, here’s some advice from me: The coronavirus doesn’t care how much you pray. There’s likely no cure right around the corner. You should listen to health professionals, not Trump. A vaccine is a long way off. And social distancing is simply what we need to do to be good citizens.

Easter is no exception, because no one is resurrecting three days after dying from this.

I can’t believe this stuff still needs to be said.

Is Trump still chafing your arse-cheeks? Then Dear Fcking Lunatic: 101 Obscenely Rude Letters to Donald Trump and its boffo sequels Dear Prsident A**clown: 101 More Rude Letters to Donald Trump and Dear F*cking Moron: 101 More Letters to Donald Trump by Aldous J. Pennyfarthing are the pick-me-up you need! Reviewers have called these books “hysterically funny,” “cathartic,” and “laugh-out-loud” comic relief. And they’re way, way cheaper than therapy.

Aldous Pennyfarthing

In contrast to Donald Trump’s shambolic bearing, appearance, and comportment, Aldous J. Pennyfarthing is a natty hail-fellow-well-met and a gentleman.

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