This is just a knee-jerk answer, right? “I know you are but what am I” is what we used to say on the playground when we were called dorkwads or dinguses or what have you.

I’ve been rolling it around in my wee, breezy head for a couple of minutes, and I can’t seem to confect any reasonable explanation for how Joe Biden could possibly be held responsible for the Jan. 6 Capitol riot.

The only plausible answer is that Republicans are fucking nuts—and not in the normal, wholesome sense of making sweet, passionate love to an old college girlfriend who inexplicably shows up at your door at 2 a.m. on a Saturday clutching a sixer of Zima while dressed as Mr. Peanut. Not that I’ve ever envisioned such a scenario before now. Certainly not. Usually in these sublime late-night fantasies she shows up as Grimace.

Anyhoo, this is just bonkers.

In a new Morning Consult survey, not only did Donald Trump regain his pre-insurrection backing among Republicans (“59% of GOP voters said Trump should play a “major role” in the Republican Party going forward, up 18 points since a Jan. 6-7 survey”), those same Republican voters are also more likely to blame Joe Biden for the riot than Donald Trump.

According to a Morning Consult/Politico poll conducted at the conclusion of the Senate’s weeklong trial, a majority of Republican voters (54 percent) said they would support Trump in a hypothetical 2024 presidential primary election – matching the share who said the same in late November, before his standing dipped in a survey conducted shortly after the deadly Jan. 6 riot at the Capitol.

The base’s increased appetite for the former president’s continued presence on the political stage came as Republican voters became less likely to blame Trump for the events that led to the riot.

Compared with the Jan. 6-7 survey, the share of Republicans who said Trump is very or somewhat responsible for the events fell 14 points, to 27 percent. Over the same time period, the share of GOP voters who blamed President Joe Biden for the riot increased 4 points (to 46 percent) while the share who blamed congressional Democrats increased 10 points (to 58 percent). 

I swear, I’m gonna need to have a third arm grafted to my abdomen just for face-palming.

What the fuck did Joe Biden do? The only possible answer is that these walnut-brained louts think he stole the election, and that Trump was just doing his patriotic duty. Or something.

And 58 percent blame congressional Democrats (i.e., the victims)? Way to stay on brand, GOP.

Well, I guess the “it was really antifa” lie never quite took hold, so let’s just say it was Biden. You saw all the Biden flags, right? We stormed the Capitol to make sure they promptly counted the votes! Because that’s how Democrats roll!

I don’t know what you do with minds that are this disordered. I guess that other timeworn playground maxim should apply here: “Just ignore them.”

”This guy is a natural. Sometimes I laugh so hard I cry.” — BETTE MIDLER on author ALDOUS J. PENNYFARTHING, via Twitter. Need a thorough Trump cleanse? Thanks to Goodbye, Asshat: 101 Farewell Letters to Donald Trump, Dear Fcking Lunatic, Dear Prsident A**clown and Dear F*cking Moron, you can purge the Trump years from your soul sans the existential dread. Only laughs from here on out. Click those links, yo!

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