For a brief interval following the Jan. 6 insurrection-palooza, I thought the conscience of our nation—and, by extension, that of the Republican Party—might finally be shocked into dropping the grotesquely irresponsible “this election was stolen from Donald Trump” canard.
I mean, people died as a direct result of this lie, and several government leaders—including the vice president of the United States—were nearly assassinated. But Americans have the memories of chloroformed crickets, so we’re now staring down the barrel of a CPAC conference that fully embraces the myth that the guy whose approval rating never once cleared 50% after the first couple weeks of his presidency, and who brutally insulted pretty much everyone in the world outside of violent white Americans and Vladimir Putin, couldn’t possibly have lost the election. Because boat parades. Or something.
So just weeks after the bloody Capitol coup, not only will Donald Trump be greeted with palm fronds and hosannas as he rides his ass into Orlando, the make-believe capital of the world; he’ll also be gifted with a seven-part series of panels on “protecting elections.”
That’s like Kim Jong Un attending a conference featuring a seven-part series on how all the world’s genitals vibrate at divine, celestial frequencies whenever Dear Leader scratches his balls.