Last updated on January 21, 2021
This post-election period has been like no other, for reasons I don’t need to restate.
While every outgoing president and presidential challenger in my lifetime—even Nixon, FFS!—left the White House and/or relinquished claims to power more or less gracefully, putting country far above self and party, Donald Trump is a different sort of animal. He’s caged. And rabid. And has a brain the size of a walnut.
And the media’s focus has largely remained on that mouse-brained land manatee, even as President-Elect Joe Biden and Vice President-Elect Kamala Harris have worked diligently behind the scenes to clean up a frat house mess they had absolutely nothing to do with.
And in two days, many Americans will celebrate with the kind of gusto likely not seen on these shores since V-J Day. Personally, I will indulge in activities that seek to both amplify my euphoria and wipe out my memory of the past four years. A tall order, but I’ve been training hard for decades, so I think I’m up to it.
I still shudder at how close we came to four more years of this. True, in the end, the election wasn’t all that close (by Trump’s own definition, it was a landslide), but it was close enough, particularly in the waning hours of November 3 and beyond, to shock and mildly depress me.
Now all that’s over, and my animus toward Trump is gradually giving way to gratitude for Joe Biden and Kamala Harris.
Oh, yeah. Them. Remember them? The duo who carried the ball over the goal line and saved us from another four years of shambolic, mean-spirited governance? From open corruption? From unabashed xenophobia, misogyny, and racism? From an enthusiastic embrace of white supremacy at the highest levels of our government?
Several times during this election cycle I said or wrote something along the lines of “Yeah, Joe Biden wasn’t my first choice, but …”
No, he wasn’t, but the only “but” left in my arsenal is … “but he got it done.”
During the primaries, I was an early advocate for Kamala Harris, and later I switched my allegiance to Elizabeth Warren for reasons I probably don’t have time to get into.
But all the “what ifs” are behind us now.
Would Bernie have beaten Trump?
I don’t know.
Would Elizabeth Warren have won?
Would Harris, at the top of the ticket, have delivered?
No one can say.
Yes. We know he was capable of delivering, because he did. And all our lives will now be better, happier, easier, less stressful, and far less tainted by our own anger because he gritted it out till the end … and chose a running mate ready, willing, and able to see it through with him.
So on behalf of 81 million Americans who voted for the Biden-Harris ticket and the 74 million who don’t know their assholes from their or anyone else’s elbows, I want to say, with charity for all and malice toward one, THANK YOU Joe Biden and Kamala Harris.
You did what you set out to do, and the world will never be the same because of it.
And everyone who worked and/or voted for them.
I can stop recoiling in disgust, fear, and horror every time I open my laptop. And that fresh new feeling, dear friends, is simply priceless.
This guy is a natural. Sometimes I laugh so hard I cry.” — Bette Midler on Aldous J. Pennyfarthing, via Twitter. Goodbye, Asshat: 101 Farewell Letters to Donald Trump is hot off the presses! Along with Dear Fcking Lunatic: 101 Obscenely Rude Letters to Donald Trump, Dear Prsident A**clown: 101 More Rude Letters to Donald Trump and Dear F*cking Moron: 101 More Letters to Donald Trump, you’ll see the Trump years from a hilarious new perspective. Click those links!
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