OK, game over. I give up. I spent years making a living as a comic, ridiculing reality, but come on, reality can't be this stupid. The only thing left for me to do now is to give up all of my earthly possessions, and make a pilgrimage to a Trappist monastery.
First, the “setup” as we call it in comedy. Karen McDougal spends almost a year debasing herself by having an affair with The Orange Julius. It couldn't have been true love, since even McDougal had to know that Trump's only true love and devotion is to himself. Then, since he's famous after all, she decides to shop a “tell all” of her multiple trysts with the original two stroke engine. This is not good juju for a guy now the official GOP candidate running for President, so a rich shitpoke friend, with a publishing empire swoops in to save the day, paying McDougal $150,000 for exclusive rights to her story, with the promise of cover exposure, and future writing gigs. Then rich shitpoke hands the story over to the crypt keeper for safekeeping.
But then that sniveling ingrate Michael Cohen has to come along and muck it all up with his stupid tape recording. Not only does his conversation with Trump about reimbursing AMI by buying the story rights from them expose the plot for the payoff is was, but it also shone a spotlight on the transparency of the scheme, through the fact that AMI had reneged on all of the other contractual actions they had agreed to in the non disclosure agreement. Which put pressure and scrutiny on AMI. For instance, they had offered her future cover exposure. Pecker paid her off in August of 2016. If the National Enquirer publishes weekly, and Men's Journal monthly, that's 120 covers that were not graced by Karen McDogal. That's one helluva backlog fellas!
So, what's the solution? Put her on a goddamned cover of course. Rachel Maddow did a wonderful job last night, showing how monolithic Men's Journal is with its cover art, almost universally men who are the epitome of masculinity, photographed in black and white, with a stern expression on their faces. But the September cover of Men;s Journal? A 3/4 body shot of a smiling Karen McDougal, wearing a red sports bra and red workout shorts. Hey, shut up, she's on the cover isn't she?