Or at least we may have them soon.
How many more apocalyptic harbingers can we stand? Seriously. I really want to know.
A Tennessee police department is warning residents to stop flushing drugs down their toilet and sinks out of fear they could create “meth gators.”
“Now our sewer guys take great pride in releasing water that is cleaner than what is in the creek, but they are not really prepared for meth,” according to a Loretto Police Department social media post. “Ducks, Geese, and other fowl frequent our treatment ponds and we shudder to think what one all hyped up on meth would do.”…
Police warn that if the drugs make it far enough, they will end up being consumed by gators in Shoal Creek.
“They've had enough methed up animals the past few weeks without our help,” police wrote.
Of course, we’re lagging in health care, education, race relations, global esteem, and so many other things, so it’s nice to know we’re still No. 1 in bad horror scripts that would be instantly rejected by every studio in Hollywood but not by God, apparently.
Given the events of the past four years, we manifestly deserve meth gators. Give them a shot at establishing a stable, functioning government. At this point, I’d be willing to give just about anything a try.
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