Hey, check out the campaign ad Trump created on your dime!

Okay, you don’t really have to watch it. I did it for you, because I spent the bulk of the 2000s imagining Roger Ailes with his shirt off so I could build up an immunity to vomiting.

But, yeah, this is without question a campaign ad … that your national park fees paid for. So instead of gazing wistfully into the awesome and majestic Grand Canyon, you get to stare at that weird crevasse in the middle of Donald Trump’s neck. Pretty much the same thing, right?



Did you watch it? I told you you didn’t have to.

But gross, right?

You’d think he’d have observed a respectful waiting period until the corpse of America was thoroughly washed and embalmed, but apparently not.

Get ready for the Jingo Express, because Trump is going to go full-bore banana republic in order to get reelected.

Is Trump still singeing your sphincter? Dear F*cking Lunatic: 101 Obscenely Rude Letters to Donald Trump and its breathlessly awaited sequel Dear F*cking Moron: 101 More Letters to Donald Trump by Aldous J. Pennyfarthing are the salve you need! Reviewers have called these books “hysterically funny,” “cathartic,” and “laugh-out-loud” comic relief. And you can get them for less than the price of a cup of coffee … or a black-market Xanax … or five minutes of therapy. It’s time to heal, my friends. Buy now!