Here's an actual photo the actual White House Twitter just shared of our actual FLOTUS

Caption this … I guess. 


Why is this the photo the official White House Twitter chose to congratulate Melania Trump on surviving yet another year in hell? Who the fuck knows? You’d be better off spending the rest of your life trying to calculate the last digit of Pi than trying to figure out why this administration does anything.

Happy birthday, Melania. Enjoy your soul-crushing media fishbowl and the creeping realization that you’ll never be free until your husband’s disheveled, purpling corpse is hauled out of the Oval Office on an infield tarp by marine biologists.

But, yeah, celebrate. Whoo!

Fabulous!” “Hysterically funny!” “Cathartic!” These are just a few of the many accolades from readers of Aldous J. Pennyfarthing’s Dear F*cking Lunatic: 101 Obscenely Rude Letters to Donald Trump. And now, the long-awaited sequel is here! Dear F*cking Moron: 101 More Letters to Donald Trump is hot off the digital press and available as a $2.99 download from Amazon. Buy there, or be square. (And while you’re doing that, grab yourself a copy of The Fierce, Fabulous [and Mostly Fictional] Adventures of Mike Ponce, America’s First Gay Vice President, also from AJP.)