The redoubtable Gabriel Sherman has another dispatch from the Phantasmagorical Land of Cray-Cray. It seems Fox News is not nearly obsequious enough for Donald John Trump, so he’s itching to cut them off at the very knees they’ve been shamelessly bending for the past five years.

Vanity Fair:

Trump’s view that Fox is insufficiently loyal has motivated him to look for a more reliable media partner. On April 26, he tweeted: “The people who are watching @FoxNews, in record numbers (thank you President Trump), are angry. They want an alternative now. So do I!”

Trump now is on the verge of having that alternative. According to sources, an investor group aligned with his son Don Jr. and the Dallas-based Hicks family has acquired a major stake in One America News Network, the fledgling conservative cable-news channel that features hosts like Jack Posobiec, a chief promoter of the Pizzagate conspiracy. “[RNC co-chair] Tommy Hicks and Don Jr. have been looking to buy a station for Trump TV,” said one source briefed on the talks. “This is all about building a Fox competitor. Trump is really aiming to take down Fox,” the person briefed on the deal told me.

You see, simply everything is fake news — except for that channel that asks Trump tough, probing questions like whether he thinks the term “Chinese food” is racist. Hey, someone has to speak truth to power. That’s exactly the kind of tenacious, unflinching coverage Donald Trump respects.

And just in case you thought Trump would go away forever if/when he loses his reelection bid, think again:

For Trump, the network serves as both a tactical weapon in the 2020 campaign and a strategic hedge in case he needs a new platform after November. One source told me that if Trump loses, he could use OANN as his post-presidential television platform to host shows. Controlling a network has been something Trump has been mulling since the 2016 election. 

Frankly, the only Donald Trump-hosted show I’d watch is one where regular folks throw McDonald’s fruit pies at him through his prison bars for a chance to win a giant stuffed panda or Def Leppard poster. Because that would be entertaining as fuck.

Is Trump still chafing your arse-cheeks? Then Dear Fcking Lunatic: 101 Obscenely Rude Letters to Donald Trump and its boffo sequels Dear Prsident A**clown: 101 More Rude Letters to Donald Trump and Dear F*cking Moron: 101 More Letters to Donald Trump by Aldous J. Pennyfarthing are the pick-me-up you need! Reviewers have called these books “hysterically funny,” “cathartic,” and “laugh-out-loud” comic relief. And they’re way, way cheaper than therapy.

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