Last updated on February 11, 2021
Good God, man. This is what you guys are going with? Really? Everyone deserves a mulligan?
First of all, this is Trump’s second impeachment, so he’s already received one mulligan courtesy of the Cowards of the Congress.
Secondly, he’s already taken a lifetime of mulligans, both on the links and, you know, in polite society.
Finally, I hope you kept the valet stub for your gonads when you entered the Capitol this morning, Mike, because you’d hate to get your balls mixed up with Ted Cruz’s. Imagine unwittingly raising Ted Cruz’s biological child and not realizing it until you find him gnawing the face off the Chuck E. Cheese mascot in a septic peep show booth in Scottsdale.
Mr. Lee, appearing on Fox News, was asked if he thought Mr. Trump’s speech was “different” from comments made by Democrats encouraging their backers to confront Republicans, as the show’s hosts played video clips of Democrats including Speaker Nancy Pelosi and Senator Cory Booker of New Jersey.
“Look, it is not different,” Mr. Lee said, hours before Mr. Trump’s second impeachment trial began in the Senate.
It’s not different? When did Nancy Pelosi deny reality for two straight months before encouraging a crowd redolent of bad whiskey and terrible ideas to march up to the Capitol and “fight.”
“Look, everyone makes mistakes, everyone is entitled to a mulligan once in a while,” he said. “And I would hope — I would expect that each of those individuals would take a mulligan on each of those statements.”
Aside from trying to equate what Nancy Pelosi, Cory Booker, et al., may have said with Trump’s literal marching orders, the idea that everyone should get a “mulligan” once in a while is pretty risible. I imagine thousands of nonviolent drug offenders would likely feel the same way. And they never tried to overthrow our republic. For the record.
So, yeah, pretty weak sauce, Senator.
Try again. I’ll give you a mulligan.
”This guy is a natural. Sometimes I laugh so hard I cry.” — BETTE MIDLER on author ALDOUS J. PENNYFARTHING, via Twitter. Need a thorough Trump cleanse? Thanks to Goodbye, Asshat: 101 Farewell Letters to Donald Trump, Dear Fcking Lunatic, Dear Prsident A**clown and Dear F*cking Moron, you can purge the Trump years from your soul sans the existential dread. Only laughs from here on out. Click those links, yo!
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