Guys, it’s one thing to kill irony and another to dismember its corpse, make a davenport out of its skin, and sit in it while you spew random syllables like a drowned Teddy Ruxpin.
BRIAN KILMEADE (CO-HOST): This is what he thinks of Donald Trump: He has horrible things to say about Ronald Reagan. He said that what President Bush did with Iraq is worse than Watergate, and he wrote a book about that. He has no idea how much money he made. But listen to how he describes Donald Trump: Demeaning Don. Deadbeat Don. Demagogue Don. He calls him Deranged Don. Those are just some of the things included in his 970 tweets. But yet [Rep.] Jerry Nadler [(D-NY)] said —
AINSLEY EARHARDT (CO-HOST): Almost 1,000 tweets.
KILMEADE: Yeah, I mean it's almost — but Jerry Nadler says I have the perfect guy to kick off my show.
EARHARDT: Who has time for that?
Who has time for that? Good question! Anyone who tweets that much — and with such venom — must be a total loser. Such a person must have way too much time on his hands and nothing valuable to contribute to society. And those nicknames! Who does that? Grow up, John Dean. Grow up!
I want to double-check something, just in case there’s even a vanishingly small chance that it’s true. Did I fall asleep while reading 1984 and get sucked into the pages through a wormhole? ‘Cause I want to get out now. Please?
Is Trump still singeing your sphincter? Dear F*cking Lunatic: 101 Obscenely Rude Letters to Donald Trump and its breathlessly awaited sequel Dear F*cking Moron: 101 More Letters to Donald Trump by Aldous J. Pennyfarthing are the salve you need! Reviewers have called these books “hysterically funny,” “cathartic,” and “laugh-out-loud” comic relief. And you can get them for less than the price of a cup of coffee … or a black-market Xanax … or five minutes of therapy. It’s time to heal, my friends. Buy now!
The Politicus is a collaborative political community that facilitates content creation directly on the site. Our goal is to make the political conversation accessible to everyone.Any donations we receive will go into writer outreach. That could be advertising on Facebook, Twitter, and Reddit or person-to-person outreach on College campuses. Please help if you can: