You can take the reality show host out of the reality show, but you can’t take the reality show out of his putrescent dung hill of a brain.

We’ve long since figured out that Donald Trump isn’t fixated on the minutiae of policy or, I don’t know, doing his job competently, but rest assured, he is engaged … with himself.

Specifically, with how he looks on television.

Axios has previewed a new book by former director of White House strategy Cliff Sims, and it makes Trump look even more fatuous and frivolous than usual, if that’s possible.

Sims’ new book, Team of Vipers, is scheduled to be released on January 29, and it includes this sparkly little nugget of derp:

Sims describes Trump as he watches TV in his private dining room off the Oval:

“He consumed TV like the late Roger Ebert must have watched movies. … He commented on the sets, the graphics, the wardrobe choices, the lighting, and just about every other visual component of a broadcast. Sure, he liked to hear pundits saying nice things about him or White House officials defending him from attacks, but everything came back to how does it look?

With that in mind, the most Trumpian tactic the comms team employed was arguing with TV networks about the 'chyrons,' the words displayed at the bottom of the screen that act as headlines for whatever the commentators are discussing.

'People watch TV on mute,' the President told me, 'so it’s those words, those sometimes beautiful, sometimes nasty little words that matter.' …

Trump is also portrayed as a sometime critic of Fox News, whose graphics, he reckons, are “the absolute worst”:

The book is chockablock with glimpses of a world where Trump sees himself as star, writer, producer, director, audience and critic — all at once:

“'The graphics on Fox are the absolute worst — are you looking at this?' he said at one point. 'CNN and MSNBC are both so much better. I hate to say it — honestly, I really hate to say it — but MSNBC has the best graphics. Fox is the best — they have the best talent. I mean, look at the rest of these people. They can’t believe what’s happening right now. But Fox’s graphics are terrible. They’ve got to do something about it.'”

Hey, Donald. How about you spend at least as much time on, well, not ruining everything you touch?

So, yeah, what did you think you’d get when you elected a solipsistic, image-obsessed reality TV host, America? 

You have your answer.



Yo! Dear F*cking Lunatic: 101 Obscenely Rude Letters to Donald Trump by Aldous J. Pennyfarthing is now available at Amazon! Buy there (or at one of the other fine online retailers carrying it), or be square.


But wait, there’s more! The Fierce, Fabulous (and Mostly Fictional) Adventures of Mike Ponce, America’s First Gay Vice President is also available at Amazon! You can get two great political humor ebooks for less than the price of the coffee you’ll be spitting out on your tablet when you read them!

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