I’m not a vindictive person. I’m really not. Certain things I’ve endured in my life I wouldn’t wish on my worst enemy, such as depression, debilitating flu, and the Carrot Top Spa Day Experience in Vegas. Which is exactly what it sounds like. Not sure what I was thinking there.
That said, Donald Trump needs to pay for his crimes—for everyone’s sake. I doubt there’s a hell, but if there is I hope it’s nothing but energy-saving low-flow golden showers for all eternity. And let him be trapped on an island of cruciferous vegetables surrounded by a kale smoothie sea.
While I don’t want to overdo it on Donald Trump mental torture porn, it’s hard not to feel a bit of a tingle when you read things like the following from former Obama ethics czar and Trump impeachment counsel Norman Eisen. Writing about the FBI raid on former Trump lawyer and bemused shrunken apple head Rudy Giuliani, Eisen takes stock of Trump’s potential legal jeopardy.
The raids of Giuliani's home and office last week could produce additional direct, contemporaneous evidence tying him directly to Trump’s alleged shakedown of Ukraine. Texts, calls, notes or other evidence might very well be on the devices that were seized. Normally, the two men’s communications would be privileged as part of the attorney-client relationship. But under the crime-fraud exception, if Giuliani was part of the former president’s alleged crimes, attorney-client privilege would not shield his communications relating to this misconduct.
Oh, yeah. The Ukraine shakedown. Another thing Trump royally fucked up. The guy’s not even a competent criminal. Why do they worship him so? (That doesn’t mean he won’t get away with this, of course—just that he clumsily stepped in another dung heap he didn’t need to go anywhere near.)
This all has profound implications not only for Giuliani but also for the president he served. If there is damning evidence recovered through the warrants, it could implicate Trump directly on Ukraine-related misconduct. Alternatively, the evidence could strengthen the case against Giuliani to the point where he “flips,” turning on Trump and testifying against him in this matter or others.
And quite apart from the Giuliani case, the raids signal that DOJ is going to pursue wrongdoers irrespective of political considerations. Because of the broad range of potential misconduct by Trump, both as president and before he took office, that should send a shiver down his spine as well.
I happen to think Trump is a bit too phlegmatic to feel “shivers” down his spine. Looks to me like the only thing flowing through his nervous system is nougat. But, yeah, he experiences fear, that’s for sure. His entire reelection campaign was the functional equivalent of a 5-year-old attempting to flush a poopy Underoo in the school lavatory.
Again, it’s possible Trump will shuffle off this mortal coil before experiencing any sort of real comeuppance. But if he’s hounded by fears of legal repercussions for the rest of his life, that would be a pretty neat, too.
Please proceed, powers-that-be.
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In contrast to Donald Trump’s shambolic bearing, appearance, and comportment, Aldous J. Pennyfarthing is a natty hail-fellow-well-met and a gentleman.