Personally, I’d rather hitchhike to Branson, Missouri, with a syphilitic fruit bat duct-taped to my genitals than give Donald Trump’s reelection campaign a dime of my money. But some idiots do so, and now they’re getting doubly screwed.

Not only are they supporting the reelection of an angry, quavering glop of yam, said yam has apparently been ripping them off in broad daylight.


Donald Trump has charged his own reelection campaign $1.3 million for rent, food, lodging and other expenses since taking office, according to a Forbes analysis of the latest campaign filings. And although outsiders have contributed more than $50 million to the campaign, the billionaire president hasn’t handed over any of his own cash. The net effect: $1.3 million of donor money has turned into $1.3 million of Trump money.

In December, Forbes reported on the first $1.1 million that President Trump moved from his campaign into his business. Since then, his campaign filed additional documentation showing that it spent another $180,000 at Trump-owned properties in the final three months of 2018.

Are we sure we can call him a billionaire? I thought that was in dispute

Of course, this should be no surprise. Mr. Emoluments has been trying to profit off his office for some time. That whole bit about being incorruptible because he’s already rich? Yeah, that sort of logic only applies to humans with functioning consciences.

Also, Trump appears to be charging his campaign rent for an apartment the campaign may or may not actually be using.

In addition, the campaign has paid $54,000 to Trump Plaza LLC, which controls a property that includes two brownstone apartment buildings in New York City. The reason for those payments, which are listed as “rent,” remains unclear. Forbes staked out the property for 14 hours on a November day but still could not pin down what exactly the campaign was renting. A person working behind the front desk couldn’t make sense of it either. “If there was any kind of office rented out for campaigning or whatever, I would know about it.” Six residents also said they had never seen any indication of the campaign in the buildings. A 2016 campaign staffer, however, said people sometimes crashed at an apartment there when they were in town.

So, yeah, more grifting. What a shock.

At least this time he’s merely ripping off his own cult members.


Yo! Dear F*cking Lunatic: 101 Obscenely Rude Letters to Donald Trump by Aldous J. Pennyfarthing is now available at Amazon! Buy there (or at one of the other fine online retailers carrying it), or be square. And get ready for the SEQUEL, “Dear F*cking Moron: 101 More Rude Letters to Donald Trump,” coming in April.


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