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Florida man who stole Nancy Pelosi's podium arrested on federal warrant

2 min read

Yes, this dude was from Florida, because 2020 just does not want to let go. It’s okay, 2020. Shhhh. It will be all right. Go to the light. 2021 is clearly up to the task.

The Hill:

A man who was photographed carrying Speaker Nancy Pelosi’s (D-Calif.) lectern during the Capitol riot earlier this week has been arrested.

The man, identified as Adam Christian Johnson, 36, was taken to a local jail in Pinellas County, Fla., on Friday night and is being held on a federal warrant, the Miami Herald reported.

Johnson was identified on social media after the photo of him carrying the lectern in the Capitol rotunda went viral, according to local media reports.

Johnson had posted his whereabouts — i.e., Washington, D.C. — before the riot, and had criticized Black Lives Matter … ironically. 

Of course, these insurrectionists are so fucking stupid, I half expected to hear this guy had tried to sell Pelosi’s lectern on eBay, but he appears to have been ultimately undone by his refusal to wear a mask, which might have hidden that shit-eating grin from the prying eyes of a pissed-off world.

But, hey, he probably thought these weren’t crimes, because this is exactly what the prsident wanted, right? And he also thought COVID wasn’t a problem, because that’s what the prsident keeps saying and implying. So he didn’t wear a mask—which, again, could have hidden his identity.

Brilliant.

Looks like someone just earned a full ride scholarship to Trump University.

This guy is a natural. Sometimes I laugh so hard I cry.” — Bette Midler on Aldous J. Pennyfarthing, via Twitter. The first history of the Trump Error is complete! Goodbye, Asshat: 101 Farewell Letters to Donald Trump is hot off the presses! Along with Dear Fcking Lunatic: 101 Obscenely Rude Letters to Donald Trump, Dear Prsident A**clown: 101 More Rude Letters to Donald Trump and Dear F*cking Moron: 101 More Letters to Donald Trump, you’ll see the Trump years from a hilarious new perspective. Click those links, yo!

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