Federal government is now mandating that food aid boxes include letter from Dear Leader


The irony here is rich. How the fuck am I supposed to keep government surplus food down if I’m continually reminded of Trump?


The Agriculture Department last week began mandating that millions of boxes of surplus food for needy families include a letter from President Donald Trump claiming credit for the program.

The USDA’s $4 billion Farmers to Families Food Box Program has distributed more than 100 million boxes to those in need since May, with the aim of redirecting meat, dairy and produce that might normally go to restaurants and other food-service businesses. But organizations handing out the aid complain the program is now being used to bolster Trump’s image a month before a high-stakes election — and some even have refused to distribute them.

“In my 30 years of doing this work, I've never seen something this egregious,” said Lisa Hamler-Fugitt, executive director of the Ohio Association of Food Banks. “These are federally purchased boxes.”

Yes, federally purchased boxes. Which means Donald Trump had very little to do with them — except that, in light of his precarious financial situation, he may actually be hoarding them in his whine cellar.

Here’s the fucking abomination of a letter:

This is appalling, but it’s also quintessential Trump. He knows his rubes, and he knows they’ll be convinced Trump drove down to Costco himself and wrote out a fat check for all these goodies.

This sounds a lot like that time Trump included a letter with our coronavirus stimulus checks. Or the time he suggested taking Washington off the $1 bill and replacing him with a picture of Ivanka sitting on Daddy’s lap. (I don’t know that that happened, of course, but I’d put the odds at better than 50 percent that I’m at least on the right track.)

So here’s a campaign mailer from Donald Trump, brought to you by you.

Take a breath. It will all be over soon. (I hope.)

Go (help) Joe!

“This guy is a natural. Sometimes I laugh so hard I cry.” — Bette Midler on Aldous J. Pennyfarthing, via Twitter. Find out what made dear Bette break up. Dear Fcking Lunatic: 101 Obscenely Rude Letters to Donald Trump and its boffo sequels Dear Prsident A**clown: 101 More Rude Letters to Donald Trump and Dear F*cking Moron: 101 More Letters to Donald Trump by Aldous J. Pennyfarthing are now available for a song! Click those links, yo!

  • October 1, 2020