FEC Chair Ellen Weintraub has had it with Donald Trump’s half-baked paranoid fantasies about voter fraud. So she’s asking him once again to prove that he was robbed in the 2016 election — an accusation he continues to level despite “winning” the election by a commanding margin of minus-3 million votes. 

During his latest Nuremberg rally, Trump perpetuated the lie that he would have won New Hampshire in 2016 if not for massive voter fraud. It’s anyone’s guess where he came up with this idea, though when he doesn’t provide footnotes it’s a pretty safe bet that his two primary references are 1his rectum and 2ibid.

And while the chance of Trump responding to Weintraub’s letter are about the same as my giving up weed while we still have a methed-up howler monkey swinging from priceless chandeliers in the White House, I applaud her for sending it.

Here it is, followed by a full transcript in legible type for any of you lucky enough to be afflicted with a fake glaucoma diagnosis.


Mr. President,

Back in February 2017, when you first alleged a voter-fraud scheme of astonishing scale in New Hampshire in 2016, I publicly called upon you to provide your evidence to the American people and the appropriate law-enforcement authorities so that your very serious claims could be investigated. I followed up in March 2017 with a letter to you repeating my request.

You have not, so far, provided any proof of these allegations.

Last night, you repeated your claim: “New Hampshire should’ve been won last time,” you told reporters before your rally, “except we had a lot of people come in at the last moment, which was a rather strange situation, thousands and thousands of people, coming in from locations unknown. But I knew where their location was.” During your rally, you told the crowd that New Hampshire was “taken away from us.”

What I wrote to you in March 2017 is just as true now: Our democracy depends on the American people’s faith in our elections. Your voter-fraud allegations run the risk of undermining that faith. Just as seriously, baseless allegations of fraud have been used to rationalize indefensible laws that deter certain U.S. citizens from exercising their right to vote. Words matter, and facts matter.

The American people count on me, as the Chair of their Federal Election Commission, to protect the integrity of our elections. So I ask you, once again, to provide any evidence you may have to the American people and the appropriate law-enforcement authorities to substantiate your claims. The American people are ill-served when our leaders put forward unfounded allegations of voter fraud. 

To put in terms a former casino operator would understand: There comes a time when you need to lay your cards on the table or fold. 

Ha ha. Like he understands anything about running a casino. Or anything else, for that matter.

Are you tired of the amoral shitgibbon? Then Dear F*cking Lunatic: 101 Obscenely Rude Letters to Donald Trump and its breathlessly awaited sequel Dear F*cking Moron: 101 More Letters to Donald Trump by Aldous J. Pennyfarthing are the pick-me-up you need! Reviewers have called these books “hysterically funny,” “cathartic,” and “laugh-out-loud” comic relief. And they’re way, way cheaper than therapy. Buy now!

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