AT&T Bribery DonaldTrump Extortion mergers

Extortion. White House edition.

That’s a nice merger you got there. Be a pity if anything happened to it.   Don Cornholeone   The Birdcage Papers

The story that Rachel Maddow and David Fahrenthold told last night was too simple to be news, but too stupid to be comedy. To briefly recap, in its first 17 months of operation, a grand total of 2 T-Mobile executives graced the front door of Trump’s Washington DC schlock palace, one night each. But 10 months ago, on the day after T-Mobile announced a $25 billion merger with Sprint, suddenly 9 T-Mobile executives, including their CEO, showed up to party. Since that day, T-Mobile has flushed $192,000 down the Trump toilet. And they haven’t been shy about it either. Executives walked loudly around the lobby, dressed in neon shirts with the T-Mobile logo on them, taking selfies and talking to anybody dumb enough to enter their atmosphere. They may as well have had a guy walk in with a D’Agostino’s shopping bag, with $100 bills spilling out, and “Merger bag Man” embroidered on his shirt pocket.

O-tay, you’re saying to yourself, that’s pretty stupid, obvious bribery, but where’s the extortion demand? Oh, it’s there alright, in plain sight, you just have to know where to look, and what you’re looking for. But, that’s what you guys pay me for, isn’t it? To do the heavy lifting around here.

Cast your mind back a year or so, to just before the announcement of the T-Mobile merger. What else was going on in the business world right about then? Yep, AT&T had announced a mega merger with Time-Warner. And with every public pronouncement, El Pendejo Presidente was dumping a scoop shovel bucket of shit all over the merger. Screaming a blue fit, and promising that his DOJ would take whatever steps were necessary to block the merger. There’s your extortion demand right there. Not for AT&T, Trump’s motives were purely petty vindictiveness there, over the CNN portion of the merger, but a clear clarion call to anybody else in the country that might want to merge anything larger than two street corner news stands together.

Remember what Michael Cohen told the House committee last week, that Donald Trump talks in code. I grew up in Chicago in the 60’s and 70’s, and what he said was as natural to me as a Maxwell street Polish. With mustard and onions. One day late with the vigorish payment to your friendly loan shark? No problem. Two guys wearing sunglasses took a couple of Louisville Sluggers to your knees. On a street corner. Public, messy, and in your face. The message was clear, “Fuck with us at your own peril!”As Sean Connery said in The Untouchables, “That’s the Chicago way.”

Trump used the same old Mafia code to announce it the “Washington way.” This is nothing new for His Lowness, he’s been doing it all of his life. He stiffs a vendor on services. The vendor lets out a suckers holler, and sues Trump for payment. And Trump very loudly and publicly derides the vendor, and drags it ot in court until the vendor eventually dies of natural causes. The message to every other vendor is sent out. “uck the contract, you get whatever I finally decide to give you, or you get nothing.”

And T-Mobile got the message. Loud and Clear. AT&T got kneecapped on a corner in broad daylight by Don Cornholeone’s goons. So T-Mobile sent a bunch of their executives with $192,000 to Trump’s Washington DC monastery, to lay their tithe at the feet of the tubby Buddha. And they did it in a way that would be impossible for him to ignore or miss. If David Fahrenthold wanted to win another Pulitzer Prize, all he has to do is to get a copy of the Trump DC hotel register, and start checking the company affiliations of the check ins with companies wanting to do business with the US government. That’s what I love about public service, it’s so fucking selfless.

Copies of President Evil, and the sequel, President Evil II, A Clodwork Orange are still sitting around collecting dust, and Amazon is starting to send me nasty e-mails. And what better time to get reacquainted with the roller coaster that was the 2016 election cycle than before the release of the final volume of the trilogy, President Evil III, All the Presidents Fen.

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