Everything else around Trump is sinking; why not the boats in his boat parade?

Oh, my God. I’m going to tear each and every one of my laugh muscles. They’re gonna have to put me in a body cast until Donald Trump’s purpling corpse is ferried back to Russia.

Trump’s latest titanic boat parade is exactly that, apparently.

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CBS Austin:

Multiple 911 calls have been made regarding boats being in distress, some sinking at the ‘Trump Boat Parade’ scheduled for Saturday afternoon on Lake Travis, according to the Travis County Sheriff’s Office.

TCSO confirmed with CBS Austin that multiple boats have been sinking and are in distress.

The sheriff's office says calls have been made about boats along the entire route of the parade, some of the locations include: Paradise Cove, Emerald Point and West Beach.

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Oh, the schadenfreude! Far, far too much “freude” in the mix. Please, enough. You could take a gondola tour of my laugh lines at this point. What a week! I’m tired of all the winning.

(That said, I hope everyone is safe. Their boats, however, can go straight to the bottom of the sea, along with their dignity.)



“This guy is a natural. Sometimes I laugh so hard I cry.” — Bette Midler on Aldous J. Pennyfarthing, via Twitter. Find out what made dear Bette break up. Dear F*cking Lunatic: 101 Obscenely Rude Letters to Donald Trump and its boffo sequels Dear Pr*sident A**clown: 101 More Rude Letters to Donald Trump and Dear F*cking Moron: 101 More Letters to Donald Trump by Aldous J. Pennyfarthing are now available for a song! Click those links, yo!