Even if Biden were guaranteed victory, I would stand in line all damn day to vote

I stumbled across this online meme recently, and it sparked something deep within my black, bloodless knot of a heart.

My immediate, visceral reaction?

FUCK YEAH, I would.

People talk about the supposed enthusiasm gap between Donald Trump’s and Joe Biden’s supporters. To some degree, they may have a point — because, well, Trump supporters are cult members, whereas Biden supporters know their candidate is a flawed human being despite his evident decency and clear fitness for office.

But although Joe Biden was never my first choice during the primaries, I’d not only stand in line for eight (or 16 or 24) hours to vote for him, I’d so so with a syphilitic fruit bat duct-taped to my face.

Luckily, I don’t have to worry about any of this. I live in Oregon, where we vote entirely by mail. In fact, the state has conducted its elections by mail for more than 20 years. But if I had to stand in line for an extended period of time, I’d do it in a heartbeat. Not because it would make much difference to the final outcome — Oregon is a safe blue state, after all — but because my soul requires it. 



As it is, I expect I’ll stare at my mail-in ballot — with the oval next to Joe Biden’s name completely filled in with black ink — for several minutes and cry tears of hope and joy. In 2016, I proudly voted for Hillary Clinton, hoping and expecting to be part of history. But, in the end, it was just a vote. This time around, I hope and expect to be part of a righteous blue tsunami that will drown Trump-style fascism in its contemptible little spiderhole and sweep the Abominable Showman away for good.

There’s no chance in hell — or anywhere else, for that matter — that I’m going to miss out on that opportunity. And I can only imagine there’s a groundswell of other Americans who feel the same way.

So no matter how much they try to suppress the vote and how often they insist that Biden’s voters are so much less motivated than Trump’s, I feel, as so many others do, that we are inevitable — that we simply can’t be stopped this time. Because we are fucking pissed.

We’re coming for them, and coming hard.

Vote Biden.

Donate to Democrats.

And GOTV.

“This guy is a natural. Sometimes I laugh so hard I cry.” — Bette Midler on Aldous J. Pennyfarthing, via Twitter. Find out what made dear Bette break up. Dear Fcking Lunatic: 101 Obscenely Rude Letters to Donald Trump and its boffo sequels Dear Prsident A**clown: 101 More Rude Letters to Donald Trump and Dear F*cking Moron: 101 More Letters to Donald Trump by Aldous J. Pennyfarthing are now available for a song! Click those links, yo!