Erdogan threatens Trump over the 'lack of respect' shown in his crazy, splenetic letter

Jon Sopel, the BBC’s North America editor, is reporting that Donald Trump’s second-grade playground letter to Turkey’s Recep Tayyip Erdogan isn’t having the effect Trump had hoped.

Which is hard to understand because usually Trump fully comprehends and anticipates every possible contingency. Weird.


And just in case you’ve been self-medicating with turpentine-soaked rags since reading that thing, here’s the full text of Trump’s kookaburra letter. You know, to refresh your memory before you go back to the important work of deleting your brain.

Dear Mr. President:

Let’s work out a good deal! You don’t want to be responsible for slaughtering thousands of people, and I don’t want to be responsible for destroying the Turkish economy—and I will. I’ve already given you a little sample with respect to Pastor Brunson.

I have worked hard to solve some of your problems. Don’t let the world down. You can make a great deal. General Mazloum is willing to negotiate with you, and he is willing to make concessions that they would never have made in the past. I am confidentially enclosing a copy of his letter to me, just received.

History will look upon you favorably if you get this done the right and humane way. It will look upon you forever as the devil if good things don’t happen. Don’t be a tough guy. Don’t be a fool!

I will call you later.

Again, Turkey is a NATO ally. Not only has it attacked another one of our allies (with Trump’s permission, of course), its leader is now openly threatening our pr*sident.

Which makes sense when you think about it. I mean, if your dry cleaner sent you a letter like this he’d instantly become your blood enemy. 

So toss this on the giant shit pile of things Trump has fucked up since taking office. It won’t be the last, that’s for sure.

Is Trump still singeing your sphincter? Dear Fcking Lunatic: 101 Obscenely Rude Letters to Donald Trump and its breathlessly awaited sequel Dear Fcking Moron: 101 More Letters to Donald Trump by Aldous J. Pennyfarthing are the salve you need! Reviewers have called these books “hysterically funny,” “cathartic,” and “laugh-out-loud” comic relief. And you can get them for less than the price of a cup of coffee … or a black-market Xanax … or five minutes of therapy. It’s time to heal, my friends. Buy now!