Epstein's special treatment extended to having his cell door unlocked in jail

Thank God Jeffy Epstein wasn’t selling loose cigarettes or stealing Tic Tacs in a three-strikes state. It was just human trafficking. Pfff.

According to a Friday story in the Washington Post, Epstein was given kid-glove treatment while serving his sentence for sex crimes with a minor.

“For the time being, I am authorizing that his cell door be left unlocked and he be given liberal access to the attorney room where a TV will be installed,” Capt. Mark Chamberlain wrote in August of that year.

The memo does not indicate how long the cell door was to be left unlocked, but it and other documents obtained through public-records requests shed new light on the apparent deference granted to the wealthy financier while in the custody of Palm Beach County, as well as on the conditions of his confinement.

Of course, this was on top of the sweetheart deal he got from former Trumpaloompa Alexander Acosta — and the “work”-release privileges that allowed him to leave his posh gulag 12 hours a day, six days a week at the “nonprofit” he established in a West Palm Beach high rise. Yes, that’s the same “nonprofit” he founded right before his sentence started and dissolved shortly after his sentence was completed. 

Oh, and “work” he did:

An attorney for Epstein’s accusers alleged last week that Epstein had committed “improper sexual conduct” while he was out on work release.

“He just wasn’t in jail. He only slept there,” attorney Brad Edwards said at a news conference. “He was in his office most of the day, and what I can tell you, he had visitors — female visitors.”

But white privilege isn’t real. Oh, no. Our justice system treats everyone exactly the same. Unless you’re a billionaire, I suppose. Or a pr*sident who obstructed justice numerous times and directed illegal payoffs to a porn star in clear violation of campaign finance law.

Speaking of the Ocher Arschloch, let’s always remember he was Jeffy Epstein’s bestest friend.

“Not a fan. Not a fan at all. That I can tell you.”

So let’s make Epstein his running mate!

#TrumpEpstein2020

Is Trump still singeing your sphincter? Dear F*cking Lunatic: 101 Obscenely Rude Letters to Donald Trump and its breathlessly awaited sequel Dear F*cking Moron: 101 More Letters to Donald Trump by Aldous J. Pennyfarthing are the salve you need! Reviewers have called these books “hysterically funny,” “cathartic,” and “laugh-out-loud” comic relief. And you can get them for less than the price of a cup of coffee … or a black-market Xanax … or five minutes of therapy. It’s time to heal, my friends. Buy now!

  • July 20, 2019