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Duck Dynasty star Phil Robertson: Jesus is my health care

2 min read

Let’s just take a step back and marvel at what we’ve become.

A guy in a Methuselah beard and camo headband who claims he didn’t have health insurance for 50 years appears on the top-rated cable news network’s signature business show to argue in favor of his health care plan, and that plan is this: Don’ worry ‘bout nuffin’ ‘cause Jesus gon’ raise you from the dead.

I only wish I were kidding.

Huffington Post:

Robertson took exception to Sen. Kamala Harris (D-Calif.) backing a “Medicare for all” plan to create a single-payer system for health care.

“Kamala, I already have health care. It’s given to me by God. Eternal health care,” he said.

“The temporary reprieve is not worth it. I’m telling her, I have eternal health care and it’s free. Doctors can give you a little temporary reprieve, but they cannot save you from physical death. The doctors who treat you, they die, too.”

“But you’re not dismissing that we need, people need health care, right?” [Fox News host Neil] Cavuto asked.  

“I didn’t have health care for 50 years,” Robertson said.

And, yes, there’s audio, just in case your employer doesn’t offer vision coverage and/or Jesus hasn’t cast the requisite number of demons out of you yet:

Yeah, I liked Kamala Harris, too, but I don’t think she’ll ever recover from this epic pwn.

Well done, Phil. You’ve saved America. Again.


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