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Dr. Fauci is clearly out of f's when it comes to Rand Paul

3 min read

Rand Paul is a physician, but it often looks like he got his medical degree from the Ben Carson School of Not Paying Attention to Things — because he does not appear to know what he’s talking about.

And Dr. Anthony Fauci — you know, that guy who’s a world-renowned expert on infectious diseases — is over it.



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PAUL: “You’ve been a big fan of Cuomo and the shutdown in New York, you’ve lauded New York for their policy. New York had the highest death rate in the world. How can we possibly be jumping up and down and saying, ‘Oh, Gov. Cuomo did a great job’? He had the worst death rate in the world.”

FAUCI: “No, you’ve misconstrued that, Senator, and you’ve done that repetitively in the past. They got hit very badly; they made some mistakes. Right now, if you look at what’s going on right now, the things that are going on in New York to get their test positivity 1 percent or less is because they are looking at the guidelines that we have put together from the task force of the four or five things — of masks, social distancing, outdoors more than indoors, avoiding crowds, and washing hands.”

PAUL: “Or they’ve developed enough community immunity that they’re no longer having the pandemic because they have enough immunity in New York City to actually stop …”

FAUCI: “I challenge that, Senator … please, sir, I would like to be able to do this because this happens with Sen. Rand all the time. You are not listening to what the director of the CDC said, that in New York it’s about 22 percent. If you believe 22 percent is herd immunity, I believe you’re alone in that.”

PAUL: “There’s also the preexisting immunity of those who have cross-reactivity, which is about a third of the public … [crosstalk]”

FAUCI: “I would like to talk to you about that also, because there is a study that recently came out that preexisting immunity to coronaviruses that are common cold do not cross-react with the COVID-19.”

Okay, that got pretty science-y there at the end, and I’m not a trained immunologist. (Though if my sister’s experience with Facebook is any indication, it’s really fucking easy to become one.) But if it’s a choice between believing the guy who’s served as director of the National Institute of Allergy and Infectious Diseases for the past 36 years or the guy who gets whaled on by his neighbors, I’ll stick with the former. 

And this is the problem with believing Facebook or Sean Hannity or the demon sperm doctor or whoever else is feeding the right-wing its information. You might sound like you’ve jerry-rigged a plausible argument to justify doing what you feel like doing, but it will likely fall apart under any real scrutiny.

And New York, while it got pounded like few other places early on in the pandemic, has now successfully flattened the curve …

Whereas states like Florida have, well, not …


But Republicans have made a cynical calculation, and it comes down to this: Why save lives when it’s so much easier to score political points? 

So if you want to live … Jesus Christ, don’t listen to Dr. Dumbass. Because he clearly doesn’t care about you. 

“This guy is a natural. Sometimes I laugh so hard I cry.” — Bette Midler on Aldous J. Pennyfarthing, via Twitter. Find out what made dear Bette break up. Dear Fcking Lunatic: 101 Obscenely Rude Letters to Donald Trump and its boffo sequels Dear Prsident A**clown: 101 More Rude Letters to Donald Trump and Dear F*cking Moron: 101 More Letters to Donald Trump by Aldous J. Pennyfarthing are now available for a song! Click those links, yo!

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