Donald Trump says he plans to read a book on the environment (spoiler alert: it's about him)

Yeah, I’m fairly confident this is the goofiest shit you’re going to see and read today. (Second tweet)

REPORTER: What is your position on global warming? Do you think it’s a hoax?

TRUMP: No, not at all. Nothing’s a hoax. Nothing’s a hoax about that. It’s a very serious subject. I want clean air. I want clean water. I want the cleanest air, I want the cleanest water. The environment is very important to me. Somebody wrote a book that I’m an environmentalist. It actually called, the environmentalist [sic]. Actually, before I did this. But they wrote a book. I’d like to get it. I have it in the other office. I’ll bring it to my next news conference perhaps. I’m sure you’ll be thrilled to see it. I’m sure you’ll report all about it. No, I’m a big believer in that word. The environment. I’m a big believer.

Let’s put aside for a moment that he appears to contradict himself in the span of two seconds (“I’d like to get it. I have it in the other office.” Uh, you mean you already have it? Or … what are you saying?) And that he says he’s a big believer in the word “environment,” if not the environment itself. And that for someone who — now, anyway — claims to believe climate change isn’t a hoax, he sure doesn’t seem to want to do anything about it.

Put all that aside.

Because it’s about to get a whole lot sillier.

To wit:

— Lisa Friedman (@LFFriedman) January 9, 2020

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Yes, the book on the environment Donald Trump says he’s champing at the bit to read is about him — and what a superb environmentalist he already is.

Now, I was a pretty decent student throughout grade school, high school, and college, but I struggled mightily with calculus. Maybe all I needed to do was read a book about how great I already was at it. It would have changed my life!

So I guess if someone really wants to change the world, they should write a book about how Donald Trump is such a great skydiver he doesn’t need a parachute. 

And, no. I haven’t read Russo’s book, haven’t gone to his Amazon page, and haven’t read any of his reviews. For all I know the book is a 300-page essay on how Trump’s farts have created a new atmospheric layer beyond the exosphere that’s blocking deadly planet-killing meteors and keeping us all safe.

Or whatever. Who the fuck cares, honestly?

Russo has his audience now. And his biggest fan is part of his target demographic — i.e., gibbering narcissitic morons.

Yo! Pennyfarthing’s Trump-trashing series is now a trilogy! Grab your copy of Dear Pr*sident A**clown: 101 More Rude Letters to Donald Trump by Aldous J. Pennyfarthing. And, of course, Dear F*cking Lunatic: 101 Obscenely Rude Letters to Donald Trump and Dear F*cking Moron: 101 More Rude Letters to Donald Trump are still selling like lukewarm-cakes. Reviewers have called these books “hysterically funny,” “cathartic,” and “a goldmine.”