Friday, January 22

Donald Trump Jr. on Biden: 'The guy can't conform [sic] a complete sentence'

It’s too, too easy. It’s like Sarah Palin’s intumescent spider sac exploded five years ago and seeded the Earth with omnipresent fucknuttery. And now there’s almost too much conservative cray-cray to make fun of.

The semi-sentient bout of cocaine sweats that claims to be the pr*sident’s son has been unwittingly embarrassing itself again. Must be a day that ends in four lines snorted off a dead moose’s taint a “Y.”

On Saturday, speaking at an event for Turning Point USA, a conservative student group, Junior whined about being “canceled” and losing thousands of social media followers a day.

The Independent (U.K.):

“No seriously, I’m getting like 20 per cent of what I got because I’m willing to fight until they shut me down. I’m averaging like 35,000 likes a post last couple of weeks. A month ago it was 250,000.”

Mr Trump Jr then claimed without evidence: “I actually have engagement that’s almost like 100 million a week, and I’m losing 2,000 followers a day. Think about that. It means that only those who want to actually follow me are remotely seeing my stuff.”

Uh, maybe you’re shedding followers because you’re even more irrelevant than you were before? Just a thought.

But in addition to learning the fine arts of whining and lying from his father, he’s also long since earned his merit badges in projection and malapropisms.

During his speech, Mr Trump Jr made numerous false claims about November’s election results and President-elect Joe Biden’s cognitive capabilities, ironically saying: “the guy can’t conform a complete sentence.”
President Donald Trump’s eldest son has made several false claims about Mr Biden and 2020’s national election over the past few months. He has parroted his father’s baseless claims that there was widespread fraud in favour of the Democrats on 3 November.

For some reason, when it comes to Donny Jr., I like “aped” better than “parroted.” But then I’m kind of an asshole.

So the guy who can’t “conform” a complete sentence still managed to kick Donny Sr.’s ignorant ass. And, worse, Junior appears not to notice that our current pr*sident sounds like a Google Translate readout of two hyenas fucking on the It’s a Small World ride.

But, yeah, tell me more about media bias and “liberal privilege.”

This guy is a natural. Sometimes I laugh so hard I cry.” — Bette Midler on Aldous J. Pennyfarthing, via Twitter. The first history of the Trump Error is complete! Goodbye, Asshat: 101 Farewell Letters to Donald Trump is hot off the presses! Along with Dear Fcking Lunatic: 101 Obscenely Rude Letters to Donald Trump, Dear Prsident A**clown: 101 More Rude Letters to Donald Trump and Dear F*cking Moron: 101 More Letters to Donald Trump, you’ll see the Trump years from a hilarious new perspective. Click those links, yo!