Donald Trump could be impeached tomorrow.

I’m not being facetious, and the title isn’t click bait. If our congress was more like Amazon, and we could all chip in a few bucks for “Prime, with free 2 day shipping” the Judiciary committee could pass articles of impeachment today, if that is, they only took one day off for President’s day, and not the whole damn week. The House could vote to impeach tomorrow, and by close of business Friday, the Senate could ensure Trump a daily 8 am tee time at Mar-A-Lago for the rest of his life, or until the convictions start coming down.

And I’m not talking about the Mueller investigation, we really don’t need that in order to get rid of Trump. And I’m not talking about obstruction of justice either, although that could add a little flash and dash to the proceedings. We already have more than ample evidence of the only crime we need to end the national nightmare.

So, you say, what is this Dr Murphy’s Magic Elixir to rid us once and for all of the Peach Colored Poltroon? Willful betrayal of the public trust. And don’t start on me with any of that “betrayal of the public trust” is not a high crime or misdemeanor. We’re not trying this case in Department 302 of the California Superior Court. Impeachment is a political exercise, and eating pizza with a plastic knife and fork can be an impeachable offense if Jerry Nadler and 217 other Democrats say that it is.

Willful betrayal of the public trust. Because, when you come right down to it, what else do we have in our politics? We have a government “of the people, by the people, and for the people,” but there isn’t enough marble in the world to build a congress with 280 million seats. We hold elections to send people to Washington DC to represent us, and to hold our national best interest in higher esteem than their own self interest, that’s the way it works. Politicians sell experience, knowledge, practicality, and charisma. But what we the people are really buying it trust. We trust them to do the right thing on our behalf.

Not all of the time of course. I mean, we’re not total morons. Whoops. Clarification required. Those of us who don’t stumble and shamble around all day wearing MAGA hats are not total morons. We expect politicians to look out for us when they’re not busy getting laid, consolidating power, and hustling cash for their reelection campaigns. But when the chips are down, and the issue is bigger than just them, we trust our politicians to do the right thing, and to honestly tell us why it’s the right thing, whether we like it or not.

When Jimmy Carter said in his inauguration speech, “My fellow Americans, I will never lie to you,” I turned to my now ex wife and said, “The little goober just told his first lie.” Even Rosalyn doesn’t fall for that line anymore. All Presidents lie, they lie because we, through the media ask them questions that they can’t tell us the truth about, because of national security. But when the evidence and events are right in front of us, we depend on the President to tell us what it means, and what we, through his power, are going to do about it. And we have to trust that he’s telling the truth.

Remember when President Obama stepped in front of the podium and announced that Osama bin Laden was dead? The country went nuts! I sat in the living room and cried like a baby. I was a crew scheduler for United Airlines, and unlike Donald Trump, I had flown in the cockpit with two of the pilots killed on 9/11. But if Donald Trump waddled to a podium and announced that al Baghdadi was killed in a drone strike, and ISIS was crippled as an organization, we would wait until the next morning to see if the Washington Post could confirm it with two sources. In the movies, Morgan Freeman, or Bill Pullman, steps up to the microphone and tells us all that a meteor is going to hit the earth in 7 days. In the movies we all panic, but with Trump, we’d hit the intercom button and say, “Betty, get me Neil De Grasse Tyson on the phone, would you please?”

But it’s not just those lies. By his lies, Trump is trying to get us to doubt all of the other institutions we have to believe in in order for our society to function. We can’t actually get justice from our Justice Department, the FBI carries out their investigations based on their own particular political biases. Iran is trying to build a nuclear weapon, even though our allies and our own intelligence tell us that they’re not, and North Korea doesn’t have ICBM’s because Putin says so, even though our own intelligence community says that that accidental test debacle in Honolulu could be a reality anywhere in the United states at almost any time.And in all of this, who can we trust?

This stuff doesn’t require a special prosecutor, and no congressional investigations are needed. The evidence is out there in plain sight, brought to us daily be reporters without national security clearances. And the congress could easily have dealt with this national security threat more than a year ago, if the Republican party hadn’t transformed into a convention of $2 whores. And it seems that the Senate leader of the pack, Lindsey Graham, is now holding “coupon days.” The GOP congress decided that nothing would happen to Trump because he was on their team. But what they handily forgot was that they were all supposed to be playing on our team.

So yes, it will be important to hear what Robert Mueller and the Democratic led investigations have to say about Der Gropinfuror to correctly assess the level if his criminality. But actual criminal code violations are not required here. Because if we can’t trust our President to do the right thing, what exactly is it we expect him to do? And remember this, fact checkers state unequivocally that Donald Trump has lied to the American people more than 8,000 times in just over 2 years in office. Yet the Republicans in the late ‘90’s voted to impeach President Bill Clinton for bullshitting us about pecker tracks on a dress. I rest my case. 

Copies of President Evil, and the sequel, President Evil II, A Clodwork Orange are still sitting around collecting dust, and Amazon is starting to send me nasty e-mails. And what better time to get reacquainted with the roller coaster that was the 2016 election cycle than before the release of the final volume of the trilogy, President Evil III, All the Presidents Fen.

Cross posted on

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