Too busy? Yesterday he told a longwinded story about stacks of bald eagles dying underneath windmills. He also tweeted 14 times.

By definition, he’s not too busy.


After a morning court hearing where Trump sought to hold off the congressional subpoena of his accounting firm, the Justice Department told a separate federal judge overseeing a different court case that congressional Democrats should pause their pursuit of his records.

The reason they gave: the President is too busy to deal with it.

The case Tuesday in which the Justice Department asked for a pause centers around benefits that Trump's companies appear to receive from foreign governments while he is in office — like governments' hotel bookings and regulation approvals abroad.

This has to do with emoluments, which officeholders are prohibited from taking under our Constitution — which Donald Trump is apparently far too busy to read.

And, dude, we saw your schedule. You’ve got more free time than Bob Dole. Lounging in a bubble bath with a Penthouse Forum and an IV full of Sunny D and Adderall doesn't count as an activity. Put the Quarter Pounders in a Vitamix first. That should save you a few hours. Plus, you spend more time on your golf courses than your greenskeepers.

Too busy. Fuck me sideways.

So, what else are you going to lie about today? 

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  • May 15, 2019