Here’s a fun little drinking game. Every time Devin Nunes mentions nude pictures of Trump, drink … Drano. And it wouldn’t hurt to gouge your eyes out with the kitchen implement of your choice.

For the record, this isn’t the first time Nunes has obsessed over Trump nudies, and it almost certainly won’t be the last:

NUNES: “Secondly, you have evidence that the Democrats on the Intelligence Committee — and I know this kind of sounds ridiculous, but it’s true — they tried to get nude pictures of the president. Think about that for a second … it’s extraordinary, and the media doesn’t call them out on that. And I think until that happens we’re going to continue to have impeachment games for the rest, all the way through the election.”

If, for some bizarre reason, you still haven’t added “nude Donald Trump photos” to your Google News alerts, here’s what he’s talking about.

In 2017, Adam Schiff took a call from Russian pranksters posing as Ukrainian government officials. The pranksters claimed they had compromising nude photos of Trump from a 2013 trip he’d taken to Moscow.

They also said they had recordings of Russians talking about the photos. Schiff said he’d be in touch with the FBI about it, but he never directly sought any photographs.

According to a story in The Atlantic, “A spokesman for Schiff said, ‘Before agreeing to take the call, and immediately following it, the committee informed appropriate law-enforcement and security personnel of the conversation, and of our belief that it was probably bogus.’”

Note that Schiff didn’t say, “If it’s what you say, I love it, especially later in the summer” and then lie about and try to cover up the incident.

CNN fact-checked this, in case you want to know just how full of shit Devin Nunes is.

But apart from all that, compromising POTUS pics in the possession of the Russian government would be germane to national security. It’s not like Schiff wanted such photos for his own personal use because, well, gross.

But even though this is a big nothing-burger, Nunes rarely misses an opportunity to bring it up, which sadly creates numerous opportunities for me to bring up my lunch.

Maybe he has too much time on his hands. Is he already finished suing all the cows on Twitter?
 
Is Trump’s disgusting, tumescent blob of a head getting you down? Dear F*cking Lunatic: 101 Obscenely Rude Letters to Donald Trump by Aldous J. Pennyfarthing can help! Find it at Amazon, along with its sequels, Dear Pr*sident A**clown: 101 More Rude Letters to Donald Trump and Dear F*cking Moron: 101 More Letters to Donald Trump. Reviewers have called these books “hysterically funny,” “cathartic,” and “laugh-out-loud” comic relief.
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