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Cowed by protests, Devin Nunes is trying to keep his upcoming fundraiser secret

2 min read

When last we heard from Devin Nunes, he was stampeding away from a planned fundraiser with his tail between his shanks.

Well, he may have been tipped over temporarily, but he’s not going to just wallow in the mud forever. 

He’s got another fundraiser coming up in June — this one at a location TBD in San Luis Obispo County. But … shhhhhhh … it’s a secret. 

An invitation to the event was recently sent out to local party members, and it included two rules: Rule 1: Don’t talk about Devin Nunes’ fundraiser, and rule 2: DON’T TALK ABOUT DEVIN NUNES’ FUNDRAISER!

You know what to do.

The San Luis Obispo Tribune:

But the email also includes this unusual message to recipients: “Due to tight security issues, please DO NOT POST anything about this event on your social media: Not your website, Facebook, Twitter nor any other! Thank you!”

It’s unclear what the security issues might be or why the group wouldn’t want to widely publicize an event planned as a fundraiser.

Earlier this month, Nunes, former chairman of the House Intelligence Committee, was scheduled to be the keynote speaker at a dinner for the Fresno County Republican Party, but it was canceled after a wave of social media posts urged people to disrupt the event, The Fresno Bee reported.

Of course, there’s simply no chance super stealthy double-naught spy Devin Nunes will let anyone find out where his latest meeting of the He-Man Woman Hater’s Club will be. I mean, he was chair of the House Intelligence Committee, so he must know how to cover his tracks. 

Anyway, please, please, please don’t disrupt Devin’s fundraiser with more sophomoric cow-related taunts. All taunts should be sly, urbane, and worthy of an esteemed member of Congress.

But don’t do it. Seriously. Be Butter … er, Best.

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