Here’s some irony for you. How do you give the American public relief from coronavirus anxiety? Get them focused on their unplanned pregnancies and STDs instead!

Apparently, among the partisan goodies in the Senate’s recently passed $2 trillion stimulus bill is an extension of federal funding for abstinence-only sex education.

The New York Times:

The bill also contains a six-month extension of federal funding through the end of November for abstinence-only education programs favored by social conservatives who are a critical Republican voting bloc. The extension is coupled with one for sex education programs that provide information about birth control and safe sex, which are supported by reproductive rights groups that tend to back Democrats.

Oh, great. Now we’re gonna have to bail out Bristol Palin, too. 

Yeah, abstinence-only sex education programs don’t work. I thought we were all clear on that. The public health would be much better served by installing a livestock-hosing paddock in the Oval Office. 

Also, apropos of nothing, this:

x

<

p class=”is-empty-p”>

Trump wanted to take credit for everything that happens in the U.S. economy so — thanks, Trump! I thought Easter was going to be a great reawakening. Didn’t IMPOTUS promise that? Instead, I’ll have to find some other way to experience the inimitable sensation of gnawing languorously on unnaturally hued public beach sand and goo.

Is Trump still chafing your arse-cheeks? Then Dear Fcking Lunatic: 101 Obscenely Rude Letters to Donald Trump and its boffo sequels Dear Prsident A**clown: 101 More Rude Letters to Donald Trump and Dear F*cking Moron: 101 More Letters to Donald Trump by Aldous J. Pennyfarthing are the pick-me-up you need! Reviewers have called these books “hysterically funny,” “cathartic,” and “laugh-out-loud” comic relief. And they’re way, way cheaper than therapy.