Like most people, I like Girl Scout Cookies. I think my favorites are the Thin Mints, because they taste the most like socialism. On the other hand, the Tagalongs remind me too much of craven bipartisan compromise. And the Lemonades, of course, are far too evocative of Donald Trump’s stay at the Moscow Ritz-Carlton.
But that’s just me.
On the other hand, many conservatives would prefer you stay away from all the cookies because … Planned Parenthood … and socialism. You know the drill.
One of these gainsayers is veteran broadcaster and columnist Jane Chastain, who recently wrote a column titled “AOC WAS A GIRL SCOUT … JUST SAY NO TO THE COOKIES.” (Yes, it was in ALL CAPS!)
The Girl Scouts were an important part of my formative years, and I sold hundreds of boxes of these cookies myself, so I considered it payback, paying it forward so to speak. Not anymore.
It is little wonder the Girl Scouts have taken a sharp left turn and can be found marching for abortion rights, gun control and other radical feminist events like International Women’s Day.
And the coup de grace?
In fact, the Girl Scouts are celebrating the victory won by their alums in the 2018 midterms on its website, beginning with their star, Alexandra Ocasio-Cortez, who attributes much of her success to what she learned as part of this organization. Now Girl Scout alums make up 72 percent of female senators and 60 percent of the women in the 116th Congress. Although the website tries to strike a bipartisan tone, it is no accident that, among this year’s freshmen, Carol Miller is the only Republican, and she is much older, 68, than the rest. Her training in scouting was well before the feminist takeover that occurred in 1970.
As I said, I’ve always liked Girl Scout Cookies, but in the past I could take or leave them. Now I suppose I’ll have to grab them with both hands. And I’m guessing I can eat a helluva lot more than Jane Chastain. Or you, for that matter.
Prove me wrong.
UPDATE: AOC responds (h/t BlackSheep1):
Yo! Dear F*cking Lunatic: 101 Obscenely Rude Letters to Donald Trump by Aldous J. Pennyfarthing is now available at Amazon! Buy there (or at one of the other fine online retailers carrying it), or be square. And get ready for the SEQUEL, “Dear F*cking Moron: 101 More Rude Letters to Donald Trump,” coming in April.
But wait, there’s more! The Fierce, Fabulous (and Mostly Fictional) Adventures of Mike Ponce, America’s First Gay Vice President is also available at Amazon! You can get two great political humor ebooks for less than the price of the coffee you’ll be spitting out on your tablet when you read them!
In contrast to Donald Trump’s shambolic bearing, appearance, and comportment, Aldous J. Pennyfarthing is a natty hail-fellow-well-met and a gentleman.