As our thin-plated dictator prepares for the most jingoistic circle jerk in history on July 4, his daughter Ivanka and son-in-law Little Lord Fauntleroy are facing new questions about their use of private email for official government business.

The guy who couldn’t get a security clearance on his own and the woman who probably loves him have still not adequately explained their use of private email, texting services, and encrypted apps. Occam’s razor suggests the reason for this is they have no explanation. But there will be a thorough congressional investigation nonetheless.


U.S. Representative Elijah Cummings, the Democratic chairman of the House Oversight and Reform Committee, said the panel would begin its own review of emails and other communications by the White House that he said violated federal records law.

“The purpose of this investigation is to determine why White House officials used non-official email accounts, texting services and encrypted applications for official business,” Cummings wrote to White House Counsel Pat Cipollone.

Lawmakers will look at why records sent or received by non-official accounts were not forwarded to official accounts within 20 days as legally required, as well as whether there was a topic White House officials wanted to conceal, he said.

Then again, it’s probably totally innocent. It’s not like one of the pr*sident’s top advisers is secretly communicating with a foreign leader who hacks journalists apart with bone saws or anything. Because that would really be beyond the pa …

Lowell, in a reply to Cummings, denied telling lawmakers that Kushner had communicated through any app with foreign “leaders” or “officials” but said Kushner had used such apps for communicating with “some people,” who were not specified.

CNN reported last year that Kushner communicated with Saudi Crown Prince Mohammed bin Salman via the Facebook Inc-owned WhatsApp messaging application.

Kids, July 4 is one of the most dangerous holidays of the year. Don’t get run over by any karma. Take care. And enjoy your dad’s Nuremberg Rally. I’m sure it will be super fun.


Is Trump still singeing your sphincter? Dear F*cking Lunatic: 101 Obscenely Rude Letters to Donald Trump and its breathlessly awaited sequel Dear F*cking Moron: 101 More Letters to Donald Trump by Aldous J. Pennyfarthing are the salve you need! Reviewers have called these books “hysterically funny,” “cathartic,” and “laugh-out-loud” comic relief. And you can get them for less than the price of a cup of coffee … or a black-market Xanax … or five minutes of therapy. It’s time to heal, my friends. Buy now!

Notify of

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.

Inline Feedbacks
View all comments
Would love your thoughts, please comment.x