When the doctor who somehow keeps Dick Cheney’s purpling corpse ambulatory talks, you should listen. The dude is obviously brilliant.

And that guy is wondering why Trump’s doctor hasn’t released any information on the pr*sident’s recent physical beyond mealy generalities:


Good question.

Here’s another take:

The president, 72, underwent a physical exam at Walter Reed National Military Medical Center last week. In memo, Navy Commander Sean Conley, physician to the president, said he anticipates Trump “will remain (in good health) for the duration of his presidency and beyond.”

“Over the course of approximately four hours, I performed and supervised the evaluation with a panel of 11 different board certified specialists,” Conley wrote, adding the president did not undergo any procedures that required sedation or anesthesia.

No details of the medical findings were released but Conley’s memo said “reports and recommendations are being finalized.”

I can only assume they’re waiting for someone to invent a quantum supercomputer with which to plausibly tweak his official BMI under “obese.” And that could take a while.

Of course, it is comforting to know that modern medicine can predict one’s continued good health for years ahead of time. Then again, maybe the bar is set incomparably low for Trump’s health, too. If his heart isn’t literally mouldering inside his chest, all’s good.

Nothing to see here. So we won’t show you.


Yo! Dear F*cking Lunatic: 101 Obscenely Rude Letters to Donald Trump by Aldous J. Pennyfarthing is now available at Amazon! Buy there (or at one of the other fine online retailers carrying it), or be square.


But wait, there’s more! The Fierce, Fabulous (and Mostly Fictional) Adventures of Mike Ponce, America’s First Gay Vice President is also available at Amazon! You can get two great political humor ebooks for less than the price of the coffee you’ll be spitting out on your tablet when you read them!

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