UkraineScandal

This is what happens to patriots in Donald J. Trump’s America. They’re browbeaten into surrender.  The Washington Post: Lt. Col. Alexander Vindman, who served as a national security aide at the White House until earlier this year and was up for promotion to colonel, will leave the military instead, his...

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  • July 8, 2020

Like clockwork, Donald Trump has determined that John Bolton is a wacko. That’s what happens when you challenge Kaiser Cray-Cray. You get a dose of whatever medicine he snorted this morning.  x ….He didn’t want Bolton anywhere near him. Bolton’s dumbest of all statements set us back very badly with...

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  • June 18, 2020

George W. Bush — who, for the record, was the presidential equivalent of getting gored to death in the asshole by a Eurasian moose — was nevertheless a human being with what appeared to be a full range of human emotions. Donald Trump, on the other hand, is an irritated...

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  • May 3, 2020

Let’s see, Alaska Sen. Lisa Murkowski voted to block witnesses in Donald Trump’s impeachment trial and also voted to acquit our ocher overlord. And now Trump is on a rampage, interfering in the sentencing of his cronies, firing witnesses, and generally behaving as if he’s above the law. What say...

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  • February 15, 2020

Guess we haven’t gone full banana republic just yet. Or else the banana is still green. But you know how little time it takes for a banana to rot. Army Secretary Ryan McCarthy said on Friday at a National Press Club event that Lt. Col. Alexander Vindman would not be...

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  • February 14, 2020

As our liberal democracy decays into tyranny faster than Lindsey Graham responds to the coo of Trump’s velvety, dying-hyena voice, it’s nice to see that many people in this country still respect and understand our values: x Sustained standing ovation for Marie Yovanovich at Georgetown University where she accepted the...

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  • February 13, 2020

Nancy Pelosi is bringing some righteous fire, yo! Based on these comments, I can only assume Madam Speaker is trying to get Trump to take a swing at her during their next Oval Office meeting. Sadly, Republican senators would think there’s nothing impeachable about that, either. x PELOSI concludes with...

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  • February 6, 2020

This pretty much says it all: x As the Senate vote takes place, let's remember the same amount of people live in Los Angeles as these 7 rural, mostly white, Republican states. They have 14 Senators while LA shares 2 with the rest of California. Some Americans are more equal...

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  • February 5, 2020

Oh, what a difference 21 years and a million Fox News lies make. Here was President Bill Clinton following his acquittal on charges of fibbing about a blow job: x February 12, 1999 – President Bill Clinton following acquittal by the Senate: “I want to say again to the American...

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  • February 2, 2020

Ready to laugh? No, really. Prepare yourself. This is good. From a New York Times article on conservatives’ sudden distaste for John Bolton, whose revelations about Donald Trump’s Ukrainian quid pro quoing have sent the GOP into a tizzy: On the Fox Business channel, Lou Dobbs assailed Mr. Bolton as...

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  • January 29, 2020

John Kelly had an up-close-and-personal look at Donald Trump’s stupidity and dishonesty for nearly two years — first as the secretary of homeland security and then for 18 months as Trump’s chief of staff — and now he’s backing ambulant mustache John Bolton in his reignited feud with the alleged president. Sarasota...

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  • January 29, 2020

Whoa, wow. Well, thanks for testifying, John. The New York Times: President Trump told his national security adviser in August that he wanted to continue freezing $391 million in security assistance to Ukraine until officials there helped with investigations into Democrats including the Bidens, according to an unpublished manuscript by...

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  • January 26, 2020

Mobster doing mobster shit: x In opening statements, House managers examined the debunked conspiracy theories invoked by Pres. Trump. A @POTUS confidant tells CBS News that GOP senators were warned: “vote against the president & your head will be on a pike.” Here's @nancycordes https://t.co/LV1Y6QveIh pic.twitter.com/tLB9EpoWr8 — CBS Evening News...

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  • January 24, 2020

MSN: As the Senate begins its second day of the trial of President Donald Trump, a Microsoft News poll finds that 57 percent of likely voters support removing him from office. The poll found that 57 percent support a Senate vote for removal, and just 37 percent oppose. Pro-and-con views...

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  • January 22, 2020

Today at a press conference following the 2020 Davos Global Economic Summit, Donald Trump claimed that he’d love to show up at his impeachment trial and confront his accusers. I assume this will happen right after he runs into an active-shooter situation at a school. Because Trump is nothing if not a...

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  • January 22, 2020

Remember the days of consensus reality, before everyone right of Mitt Romney’s dog simultaneously took the brown acid, hurtled headlong through an Einstein-Rosen bridge, and found themselves piled up like cordwood inside Donald Trump’s commodious clown car of a rectum? Back in the day, shit like this didn’t happen: x Um, Fox...

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  • January 22, 2020

It’s no secret that Donald Trump is a master projector. The media are “liars” and “fake.” Bernie Sanders is “crazy.” Hillary was “crooked.” He makes fun of other people’s looks and weight, even though, on a good day, he looks like a giant balloon Ed Gein slapped together the night...

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  • January 10, 2020

Straight from the horse’s mustache: During the present impeachment controversy, I have tried to meet my obligations both as a citizen and as former National Security Advisor. My colleague, Dr. Charles Kupperman, faced with a House committee subpoena on the one hand, and a Presidential directive not to testify on...

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  • January 6, 2020

Donald Trump seems to think a healthy U.S. economy should make him immune from impeachment. That’s a little like saying a thief should be let off because he pays his taxes. Or that Mussolini made the trains run on time. But then Trump has never been one for, well, the...

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  • January 5, 2020

I imagine after Tucker Carlson sticks his head up his own asshole, he immediately seeks out another asshole in which to wedge said head in order to avoid the next round of dispatches from the world’s enormous and growing population of non-asshole-denizens. So what you have is Tucker Carlson’s head...

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  • December 19, 2019

When the history obscene bathroom-stall doodles of this presidency are finally written, they will note that Donald Trump was an impeached president. And you’ll be able to find GOP Congress members’ souls for sale at deep discounts in St. Vinnie’s bargain bins across the country — because having sold them...

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  • December 19, 2019

I’m sure you read Trump’s bonkers letter to Nancy Pelosi yesterday. It was like a bad literary acid trip. Halfway through I felt like plucking my eyeballs out with a Scout knife leather awl, soaking them in a bath of contact lens solution and Lestoil, and gingerly placing them back in my...

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  • December 18, 2019

I’d prefer a more scientific survey, but that wouldn’t be nearly as funny, would it? Also, I pretty much already knew that Trump supporters haven’t read the “transcript” (which, to be fair, isn’t a real transcript) because 1) they’re Trump supporters, 2) I sincerely doubt they know what a transcript...

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  • December 17, 2019

Since the beginning of the year, Trendency has been tracking the views and opinions registered voters hold when it comes to the impeachment of President Donald Trump. This was not a question we asked very often, since there was very little movement among voters on this question throughout most of...

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  • December 16, 2019

Inspector Clouseau is back from his farce-finding trip to Ukraine, and he tells Donald Trump that he found more than Trump “can imagine.” I don’t think he fully comprehends the depth and breadth of Trump’s imagination, but whatever. Donald Trump will believe anything, so long as he wants to believe it....

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  • December 14, 2019

It wouldn’t be an exaggeration to say that Republicans have had less than nothing (or nothing real, anyway) to fall back on in their defense of Donald Trump during the recent impeachment imbroglio. What they do have amounts to repeating Hunter Biden’s name into a mirror over and over again...

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  • December 14, 2019

You may remember Matt Whitaker as the bald dude who was Trump’s acting attorney general for a couple of months for some reason. No one really knew why. It sure remains a mystery to me, though. The only thing I can think of is that Trump was hoping to assemble an entire...

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  • December 7, 2019

This has been clear for some time. In the hierarchy of things Donald Trump cares about, No. 1 is Donald Trump. Way, way down the list somewhere at No. 2 is Chicken McNuggets. Light-years beyond that, somewhere in the far reaches of inky-black space, is Ivanka Trump. After that, it’s just a...

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  • December 6, 2019

Greg Sargent has an excellent piece on disinformation in WaPo, reminding us how the GOP continues to traffic in disinformation as the Senate impeachment trial approaches. Two new developments attest to this point: a remarkable pair of revelatory tweets from Giuliani, and a tour de force of reporting in The Post, which reveals...

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  • December 6, 2019

Constitutional law expert Michael Gerhardt, a professor at the University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill, was blunt in his assessment of the current impeachment proceedings during his testimony before the House Judiciary Committee this morning. And he’s, quite clearly, rightly terrified of what might happen to our country if...

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  • December 4, 2019

When did the GOP become a pro-Russia cult? Seriously, when? These people are so mesmerized by Donald Trump’s surpassing charms they can’t resist upending decades of conservative orthodoxy for the chance to kiss the hand that grabs the pussies? Really? x Tucker: “Why do I care what is going on...

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  • November 26, 2019

During the impeachment hearings last week, I kind of wanted Fiona Hill to float down from the ceiling after the lunch break like Mary Poppins and spank the ever-living crap out of Gym Jordan and Devin Nunes. Or maybe give them a royal death glare and intone, “We are not amused.”...

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  • November 25, 2019

The Cleveland Plain Dealer recently bemoaned the encroachment of Gym Jordan’s jock sweat on the city of Cleveland. His presence there was the result of a “hideously gerrymandered” district that was created prior to the 2012 election, and his constituents there are presumably beside themselves with revulsion. And now the man whom...

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  • November 23, 2019

He’s a 73-year-old man who sounds like a pair of mating Yukon moose being sucked into a jet engine, but he has great hearing everyone. Everyone says so. Many, many people. And so he’s certain that David Holmes’ testimony this morning, in which the diplomat claimed he overheard Trump goose-honking over...

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  • November 21, 2019

Donald Trump, his voice modulated to drown out the helicopter rotors and the shrieking shame goblins in his head, made a statement this morning on the White House lawn. Summary: I WANT NOTHING! I WANT NOTHING! And who the fuck is Gordon Sondland? Yes, as you almost certainly predicted, Trump...

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  • November 20, 2019

It’s getting harder and harder for GOPsters to defend the ocher abomination, and the latest round of testimony is a case in point. According to a source who spoke to CNN, Republican legislators were “shaken” by the recent testimony of State Department official David Holmes, who described overhearing a potentially...

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  • November 19, 2019

Enemies. Enemies everywhere! Keep your head on a swivel, Donny. Are you sure that’s really Ivanka? It could be Adam Schiff in a blond wig and couture.  So now Donald Trump is reportedly miffed at one of his closest allies, the eternally obsequious Mike Pompeo, his longtime (by Trump administration standards)...

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  • November 18, 2019

What do you say? Should we keep calling Mitch McConnell “Moscow Mitch” until a) the heat death of the universe, b) he’s out of office, or c) he stops being a useless waste of tortoise shell? I say a). But that’s just me. But this isn’t about Mitch McConnell the filthy...

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  • October 23, 2019

My lord. Donald Trump would have made Sigmund Freud shart his brains down his breeches. Yes, this was a … slip, of the Freudian variety. But, man, what a slip! And it arrives so soon after a Scottish fen full of “Obama could have been impeached” garble. x Trump on...

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  • October 22, 2019

Okay, the goalposts are now somewhere in the Andromeda Galaxy. In a press conference today, chief White House toady Mick Mulvaney basically admitted there was a quid pro quo involved in the administration’s decision to hold up funds for Ukraine earlier this year. According to Mulvaney, the administration was hoping to...

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  • October 17, 2019

And, you know, he’s probably right. I mean, John Bolton is what you’d get if the demon from Child’s Play had possessed Orville Redenbacher instead. That caramel corn-looking motherfucker is evil to the core. The Daily Beast: In the course of casual conversations with advisers and friends, President Trump has privately...

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  • October 17, 2019

This dunce. https://twitter.com/realDonaldTrump/status/1184129825231069184? And here’s the screen grab just in case he takes this down while I’m meditating, working on a unified field theory, or getting ferociously baked on my patio: Okay, I’m fairly confident he meant to say “impeach the press,” but hey, the actual president of the United States...

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  • October 15, 2019

So the White House is still refusing to cooperate with the ongoing impeachment inquiry, and the pr*sident has so far been even less interested in acknowledging congressional subpoenas than Tiffany Trump. What to do? What to do? Well, Rep. Rashida Tlaib (D-Michigan) has an idea. Lock them in the hoosegow. Tlaib...

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  • October 13, 2019

So the AP just published a rundown of Donald Trump’s infamous call with Ukrainian President Volodymyr Zelensky, and a few morsels of deeply weird Trumpfuckery stood out from the usual smorgasbord of garden-variety fucknuttery. For one thing, Trump doesn’t prepare — at all — for these calls. (Why should calls to foreign heads...

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  • October 12, 2019

Okay, so Rudy Giuliani’s life is finally collapsing faster than his shrunken apple head, and suddenly Donald John Trump isn’t so sure about him. Rudy is balls deep in the Ukraine scandal, and two of his associates tried to flee the country yesterday before being arrested on campaign finance charges....

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  • October 11, 2019

So two associates of Rudy Giuliani, Igor Fruman and Lev Parnas, were arrested at Dulles International Airport last night on campaign finance charges. True to form, Donald Trump claimed he had no idea who they were. Because while Trump hangs out with lots of shady characters, he’s never friends with them....

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  • October 11, 2019

I always wondered why Donald Trump wanted to go into politics — a field he has no aptitude for nor knowledge of. Consider this tweet: x I’m hearing that the Great People of Utah are considering their vote for their Pompous Senator, Mitt Romney, to be a big mistake. I...

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  • October 5, 2019

And this one may have more info than the first. Two sources have told The New York Times that a second Ukraine-scandal whistleblower is “weighing whether to file his own formal whistle-blower complaint.” And this guy reportedly has more direct information about Trump’s corrupt intentions. According to the report, the...

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  • October 5, 2019

So Donald Trump is trying to pretend he hates corruption so, so much he’s doing everything he can to quash it everywhere it rears its ugly head. Today, while sounding like an Airbus jet engine exterminating entire species of geese, he insisted that his attempts to get foreign governments to look into Joe Biden...

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  • October 4, 2019

Is Rudy Giuliani slowly turning into Gollum and it’s just so gradual we won’t notice until it’s too late? I mean, WT-ever-living-F is this? https://twitter.com/elainaplott/status/1179234987624800256? That’s a text exchange between Rudy and Atlantic reporter Elaina Plott. And, credit to her, she asked the question that — well, to be fair...

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  • October 2, 2019
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