TuckerCarlson

Peak cynicism has arrived. Tucker Carlson pimps a version of the nanny-state with more police confrontations because he thinks cops should stop children from wearing masks by enforcing child abuse laws. Apparently making a child wear a mask is like punching them in the face or the equivalent of exhibitionism....

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  • April 27, 2021

If Tucker Carlson brags about beating up a gay man and/or liked junk food in high school, shouldn’t he clear that up among other strange tropes like the George Floyd verdict attacking Western Civilization. Here are all the mentions of Carlson in his senior year. Anyone know what the Dan...

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  • April 21, 2021

My father helped run a construction company when I was a kid, and he was pretty hands-on with his work. While he was perfectly at home in the office drawing up plans (or whatever construction guys do; I never had much interest in his profession, though I know he was...

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  • April 13, 2021

I’m not sure what Matt Gaetz expected. After all, the only exercise Donald Trump ever gets involves golf, languorous coitusTM, and throwing former “friends” under the bus. (Again, Trump has no actual “friends.” He has acquaintances he’s yet to shiv in the liver.) For years, people have filled Gaetz’s head...

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  • April 6, 2021

Not sure if you remember the infamous Jon Stewart Crossfire appearance in which he basically burned the erstwhile CNN show to the ground. Okay, “burned to the ground” is a metaphor, but it’s not really hyperbole. Just months later, CNN canceled the program, 86’d cohost Tucker Carlson, and actually cited...

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  • March 12, 2021

Whoa, the Tuckerbot is seriously glitching now. A day after inviting a guest on the air to inform his diverse viewership (he draws angry septuagenarians and octogenarians) that “we should not be bringing more Black children into this country,” Tucker decided, out of the blue, that Joe and Jill Biden’s marriage...

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  • February 17, 2021

Of course, Tucker Carlson is a journalist in the same sense that Joseph Goebbels was. Which means, not at all.  The Hill: Fox News host Tucker Carlson took aim at incoming first lady Jill Biden on Monday evening, downplaying her doctoral degree in education amid the escalating controversy over whether she should use the...

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  • December 15, 2020

Axios gives us a map of Trumpian sycophancy with the consistent “always Trumpers” in Congress as Trump goes back on the road to more super-spreader events in swing states. Tonight’s Trump remarks: Andrew Feinberg @AndrewFeinberg INBOX: @TeamTrump has done something unusual for them. They've released excerpts of @realDonaldTrump's prepared remarks...

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  • October 13, 2020

More Trump attention-seeking shtick has happened. He’s threatened to refuse to transfer power. That could really happen because he’s nuts and even if he only represents an anti-democratic 25% of the US population. 26% if you include the plutocrats. It’s going to get worse until Election Day, what with Trump’s inner-child channeling...

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  • September 24, 2020

I sat on this when it first broke because I wasn’t 100% sure it was the same kid in the video, even though they looked identical.  Snopes is calling it “unproven” because they can’t say “definitively” it is Kyle, which they would have to do unless Kyle Rittenhouse confesses. However, Snopes...

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  • September 1, 2020

Needless to say, this is appalling. https://twitter.com/ParkerMolloy/status/1298820170891362304?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw See? Kyle Rittenhouse simply wanted to help. He’s a good (i.e., white) boy deep down. I mean, we can understand Rittenhouse, right? He’s a vigilante! Like Batman! Gotham is corrupt, y’all! Tucker: How shocked are we that 17 year olds with rifles decided...

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  • August 27, 2020

I almost preferred the dog whistles to the train whistles. But hey, at least they’re out in the open now. Tucker Carlson from last night’s Shit Your Pants in Fear, Rural White People Hour. Via Media Matters: TUCKER CARLSON (HOST): What will be the aftermath of all of this? What...

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  • August 11, 2020

There are still people who think Trump will win in November, despite his usual attempts at kayfabe like threatening an election postponement today to distract everyone from the record slump in second quarter GDP. Despite a number of poll numbers that predict Donald Trump will lose his reelection bid, one...

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  • July 31, 2020

Blake Neff, who bragged that he authored the first draft of Tucker Carlson’s programs, is gone and one can only hope that the reader of the final drafts goes as well. Because “Blake's writing and his points of view didn't affect this show”. Carlson whined about “ghouls” to attempt to reframe...

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  • July 14, 2020

The dirtiest trick might be parody, especially as Roger Stone will get his federal sentence commuted by Trump even as history might be first tragedy, then repeated as farce. Perhaps Stone will get Trump’s face tattooed on his chest. The first draft of history or the revisionist, bowdlerized version of it,...

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  • July 11, 2020

Yes, that’s just as fucking stupid as it sounds: x Tucker Carlson attacks Elmo pic.twitter.com/KTkycca7SP— Andrew Lawrence (@ndrew_lawrence) June 10, 2020 < p class=”is-empty-p”> Okay, so that wasn’t Elmo talking. It was some other Muppet. Still … SOME OTHER MUPPET: “People of color, especially in the black community, are being...

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  • June 10, 2020

Sean Hannity will try to tell you that he took the coronavirus oh-so seriously all along. He recently said he never thought the mounting concern about the novel coronavirus was a hoax. And you know he’s serious by how many veins are visible in his neck and forehead when he...

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  • April 22, 2020

Remember the days of consensus reality, before everyone right of Mitt Romney’s dog simultaneously took the brown acid, hurtled headlong through an Einstein-Rosen bridge, and found themselves piled up like cordwood inside Donald Trump’s commodious clown car of a rectum? Back in the day, shit like this didn’t happen: x Um, Fox...

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  • January 22, 2020

I imagine after Tucker Carlson sticks his head up his own asshole, he immediately seeks out another asshole in which to wedge said head in order to avoid the next round of dispatches from the world’s enormous and growing population of non-asshole-denizens. So what you have is Tucker Carlson’s head...

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  • December 19, 2019

When did the GOP become a pro-Russia cult? Seriously, when? These people are so mesmerized by Donald Trump’s surpassing charms they can’t resist upending decades of conservative orthodoxy for the chance to kiss the hand that grabs the pussies? Really? x Tucker: “Why do I care what is going on...

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  • November 26, 2019

Self-awareness is not a strong suit with the folks at Fox News. To wit: x Tucker Carlson just now: “It's hard to think of a company that's hurt this country more than Twitter. Maybe there are some. I can't think of one. If you look at the hate & the...

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  • October 9, 2019

From the network that once pissed its pants in abject fear and outrage over Ebola, immigrant caravans, and Sarah Huckabee Sanders’ inability to get a meal at a restaurant that one time. Your favorite syphilitic clown penis, Tucker Carlson, from last night’s show: The whole thing is a lie. If...

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  • August 7, 2019

Guess I’m just a softheaded liberal who thinks you shouldn’t enslave and starve your people, imprison and kill your political foes, and run your country like a death cult. Silly me. On Fox News this morning, Tucker Carlson, the Joseph Goebbels of bow-tied silver-spoon twerps, said we’re getting far too...

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  • June 30, 2019

It might be fun to sit in on Fox News editorial meetings as they wonder aloud how they can further unbalance the humors of cranky old white men now that they’ve reached the AOC supersaturation point. Hmm, let’s see. Hillary? No, their hearts can’t take that anymore. Fluoride in drinking...

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  • June 6, 2019

Washington Post “It was a line in Stacey Abrams’s recent writing that irked Fox News host Tucker Carlson more than anything she said in the Democratic response to Tuesday’s State of the Union. “By embracing identity,” she wrote in Foreign Affairs magazine last week, “Americans will become more likely to grow as...

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  • February 7, 2019

Oh, Tucker. Turns out women’s 70 cents on the dollar (or whatever the latest figure might be) is just way, way too much. Because when women make more money than men, it upsets the cosmos’ natural order, and men resort to huffing paint thinner and obsessively watching first-season reruns of Saved...

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  • January 3, 2019

Media Matters “TUCKER CARLSON (HOST): Our leaders demand that you shut up and accept this. We have a moral obligation to admit the world's poor, they tell us, even if it makes our own country poorer, and dirtier, and more divided. Immigration is a form of atonement. Previous leaders of...

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  • December 14, 2018

From NBC News: Fox News on Thursday fired contributor Kevin Jackson after he called Dr. Christine Blasey Ford and other women “lying skanks” for accusing Supreme Court nominee Brett Kavanaugh of sexual misconduct. Jackson, who has 67,000 followers on Twitter, posted a string of highly offensive tweets over a period...

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  • September 28, 2018
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