TheOnion

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The backlashes to critical race theory leave scars: racism is never funny, even if ignorance is.

Florida bans its schools from teaching critical race theory On Thursday, Florida’s State Board of Education unanimously voted in favor of an amendment banning the teaching of critical race theory in schools throughout the state. The theory, according to PolitiFact, is a collection of ideas about systemic bias and privilege...

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  • June 12, 2021
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Lando Cotton blames the AP for being human shields, The Onion agrees to end cycle of violence

It’s clear that Israel had no legitimate reason to target the media in Gaza other than to make their (Israel’s) war crimes harder to report. Like previous guy, Tom Cotton attacks the free press from the floor of the US Senate because they’re not propaganda outlets. Sen. Tom Cotton (R-AR)...

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  • May 17, 2021
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Tucker “soup plutocrat” Carlson even further unhinged

If Tucker Carlson brags about beating up a gay man and/or liked junk food in high school, shouldn’t he clear that up among other strange tropes like the George Floyd verdict attacking Western Civilization. Here are all the mentions of Carlson in his senior year. Anyone know what the Dan...

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  • April 21, 2021
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Minerva @ Midnight: Summer augurs a continuation of bad faith and disinformation

Minnesota law enforcement, at its based level exhibits some intersectional issues often represented in fictional culture products like Fargo. Their police forces haven’t learned very much since the death of George Floyd. So many examples of bad faith below:

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  • April 19, 2021
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Does a case of the Mondays contain 144 viral mutations

Because we remember Bruce the shark: https://twitter.com/ddoniolvalcroze/status/1379064362602692615?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw Easter in the State of Georgia.Opinion | Free-range voter suppression https://t.co/aNJpzR74Wv — Michael de Adder (@deAdder) April 3, 2021 Pope Francis Scouring Papal Tombs For Final Easter Egg Of Vatican Hunt https://t.co/J2Sk7WGM0E pic.twitter.com/COhBklDszd — The Onion (@TheOnion) April 5, 2021 Look, America! I...

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  • April 5, 2021
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He didn't park his privilege at the door when he decided to have a bad day

Prosecuting hate crime is another thing some prosecutors might not want especially when a Bible Belt jury might want to condone violence against the victimless(sic) crime industry. “Let those pesky feds do it”. As the alleged suspect said, “he was at the end of his rope” because irony runs deep...

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  • March 17, 2021
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'Neanderthals' in Texas and Mississippi are victims of cancel culture, because right-wing socialists

Apparently Marsha Blackburn has a lot of personal knowledge of the lives of Neanderthals, even if they are extinct. Republicans are split on whether Neanderthal is an insult or a compliment. American nationalism does seem to have a branding problem as Texas and Mississippi end mask requirements because something, something… patriotism. Psaki...

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  • March 4, 2021
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Trump dumps Giuliani perhaps because of the NAACP lawsuit that cites the Ku Klux Klan Act

Trump has released this statement to CNN: “Mayor Giuliani is not currently representing President Trump in any legal matters.” Is this because of today’s lawsuit charging that in concert with the Proud Boys and Oath Keepers, they were conspiring to incite a violent riot at the U.S. Capitol on January...

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  • February 17, 2021
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there is a spectre haunting the Super Bowl and it is Vince Lombardi

Just in case you too have no life and are watching Super Bowl commercials, a live blog opportunity. x Lack Of Super Bowl Party Will Not Hamper Woman’s Plan To Make 10 Pounds Of Buffalo Wing Dip https://t.co/nVdRow6zmy pic.twitter.com/oIbITm1Hid— The Onion (@TheOnion) February 7, 2021 < p class=”is-empty-p”> The Kansas...

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  • February 7, 2021
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Biden names Buttigieg as transportation secretary; VA state senator calls for martial law

We are in that strange place where a respected rival gets to lead infrastructure change in a critical area of the US economy and a nutter in VA wants fascism. Darn Constitutional freedoms juxtaposed on the same day. Perhaps trains will run on time. President-elect Joe Biden has tapped former South Bend, Ind.,...

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  • December 15, 2020
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Trump's penultimate regulatory roll-back: no more emotional support peacocks on planes

Soon, you will no longer be able to bring your emotional-support peacock on an airplane.  U.S. tightens definition of service animals to only dogs. The masks are always a pain in the ass anyway. The ban on pot-bellied pigs won’t stop Trump from going to his rally in Valdosta GA on...

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  • December 3, 2020
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who supplied Kyle Rittenhouse's murder weapon, even if Illinois isn't involved.

Apparently the person who gave their gun to Kyle Rittenhouse has some explaining to do. x Blue Lives Matter Supporters Say Kyle Rittenhouse Not Reflective Of Most Peaceful Apologists For Police State https://t.co/JdlxmfEkix pic.twitter.com/CMlVBh6Teq— The Onion (@TheOnion) October 17, 2020 Kyle Rittenhouse, the 17-year-old gunman charged with killing two men with...

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  • October 23, 2020
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Trump chokes on 3' putts as he compares attempted murder to golf, then goes to Kenosha

A quarter-million deaths still loom as the distraction tour continues in order to generate campaign commercial content.  x Trump in Kenosha pic.twitter.com/MyK07qPnX5— Zeke Miller (@ZekeJMiller) September 1, 2020 Pres. Trump is headed to Kenosha, Wisconsin, after drawing a comparison between police officers who shoot people in the back to golfers...

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  • September 1, 2020
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unhinged Trump has brought more water for dishwashers as he also claims Joe Biden will “hurt God”

MSM is not covering Trump’s latest nonsense as people get tested before meeting Trump and Governor Mike DeWine tests positive for COVID. Trump is now clearly pinning reelection hopes on a vaccine announcement that will be obviously disinformation. At that moment, a quarter million people will have died, over 100,000 dead directly...

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  • August 6, 2020
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#IfDonaldTrumpIsReelected Stupidity in the Streets! Superspread the COVID! #GOPCowards

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Now we know that choke-holds are only possible if there’s a risk to the police officer. Speaking of choking, Trump’s health and campaign continue their death march to November. A few people are already in line in Tulsa. x Why did Trump have a secretive, midnight run to Walter Reed Medical Center? It’s time...

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  • June 17, 2020
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if it's 1312, 1348 cannot be 36 years away: Journalists are being targeted by cops

Protesters demonstrate in Union Square, during a protest in response to the death of Minneapolis man George Floyd on May 28, 2020 in New York City. The video that captured the death of George Floyd implicated the arresting officers sparking days of riots in Minneapolis Minnesota. Governor Tim Waltz (MN) called in the National guard to quell the violent riots, looting and fires.(Photo by John Lamparski/NurPhoto via Getty Images)

Deliberate attacks on journalists have cost at least one reporter an eye. And yet the COVID-19 pandemic remains. A number of efforts are underway to try to track the attacks on journalists, which are often first documented on Twitter. Bellingcat senior investigator Nick Watershad documented 100 incidents by 12:50 PM ET...

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  • June 1, 2020
/ America / Beer / Bleach / books / Brain / CoronaVirus / Covid-19 / cure / Disinfectant / Donald / Donald Trump / DonaldTrump / Family / Local / MAGA / March / News / President / Reality / Satire / TheOnion / Toilet / Trump / Virus

'The Onion' predicted Trump's Clorox cure a month ago

Here’s proof that no matter what kind of outlandish satirical reality you manage to concoct, Donald Trump will call your bleach injection and raise you a flashlight up your ass. On March 25, America’s Finest News Source, The Onion, ran an article with the headline “Man Just Buying One Of Every Cleaning...

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  • April 25, 2020
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No one publishes scurrilous insults of Devin Nunes

x I remember when the GOP knew Russia was our enemy🐮 https://t.co/9vcfR2vbzn — Devin Nunes’ cow 🐮 (@DevinCow) October 9, 2019 Devin Nunes files yet another lawsuit, what else is new? Perhaps there’s a health emergency. There’s a hashtag referencing some kind of leakage, surely that has something to do with people...

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  • October 10, 2019
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